


Blind Spots

by Nova_Raven



Series: Being Blind [2]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Blind Character, Blindness, Blowjobs, F/M, Ghosts, Haunting Investigations, M/M, Outtakes, Smut, handjobs, xplr - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-03-19
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:28:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 30,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22411783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nova_Raven/pseuds/Nova_Raven
Summary: Outtakes and Oneshots from Things Unseen
Relationships: Colby Brock/Brennen Taylor, Sam Golbach/Katrina Stuart
Series: Being Blind [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1612918
Comments: 20
Kudos: 24





	1. The Reveal; Colby's POV

There was something touching his face. That was the first thing that Colby remembered registering when he was next aware. _What the…_ there was something touching his face, and he was confused, because last he remembered he was driving, he was going to… grocery shopping. He was going grocery shopping, because he and Brennen were going to go see a movie and Colby wanted food for if they ended up back at his apartment.

Wait. Then where was he?

He made some sort of an attempt at a word. He wasn’t really sure what he was trying to say, just that he wanted to say something, anything, because the world was coming back into focus in his mind and ow, his head fucking hurt... 

“Colby?” He must have made some sort of noise because someone responded and Colby knew that voice. That was Brennen. Okay, at least he knew Brennen was here. Wherever here was...

“Brennen…?” He barely breathed, the word feeling dry in his mouth. He blinked a few times, a little confused because it was dark, why was it dark, where the fuck was he? He turned his head towards where he had heard Brennen’s voice, trying to find him in the darkness in front of him.

But something was wrong. Colby felt that as a fact even before Brennen said anything. Something just felt… off, and Brennen only confirmed that when he spoke, “Hey dude, how you feeling?” Because that wrong was in Brennen’s voice too.

“My fuckin’… my head hurts…” Because it did, but that was the simplest answer, because the actual answer terrified the shit out of Colby, because he… he should be seeing Brennen right now. He blinked a few times, feeling that his eyes were open, they were opening and closing like normal, and there were some sort of bright splotches above him but he couldn’t see Brennen. It was like he was staring through some sort of thick curtain…

He reached forward towards where he had heard Brennen’s voice, maybe to push the curtain in front of his eyes out of the way, he could tell himself that, but really, he was just trying to confirm what he already knew was wrong, even though he hadn’t said it yet.

And something warm touched his hand. Another hand, probably Brennen’s, but Colby jumped because he hadn’t seen it coming.

_He couldn’t see anything..._

“Colby?” Brennen asked again, and Brennen didn’t know, Brennen could clearly see _him_ , Brennen didn’t know what was wrong...

“Is there…Brennen, there’s something wrong with my eyes,” Colby said quietly, realizing it for himself even as he spoke out loud, “I can’t… Brennen, there’s nothing on my face, right?”

There was no response, even as Colby felt a palpable rise in tension and everything in him kicked into a panic.

_He couldn’t see, he couldn’t see anything..._

“Brennen?” Colby repeated, his voice verging on hysterical, because Brennen hadn't answered and he hadn't realized how much he needed that answer, that confirmation that someone was there with him...

_Because he couldn't see him..._

“There’s… there’s nothing on your face…” Brennen answered, and Colby knew that already, because he could feel that his face was unobscured, both by the touch senses on his face and by the fact that when he pressed his free hand to his face there was nothing there, just skin. Brennen continued, asking, “Colby… can you not see me?”

And that response told Colby that there should be no reason why he couldn’t see Brennen. His eyes moved from the light blobs to where he knew Brennen should be, to where every other sense was telling him his friend was but he could see _nothing_. “I can’t… I can’t see you…” He gasped, feeling as his breath started catching in his throat, panic rampaging through his chest, “I can’t… like I can tell there’s light at the ceiling but like… everything else is dark...”

“Colby… Colby, hey…” Something grabbed his other hand and Colby jolted again, a sound of fear leaving his throat. “Fuck, dude, it’s me,” Brennen promised, and Colby nodded, because of course it was, of course it was Brennen, who the fuck else would it be but he couldn’t fucking see and that just made everything worse…

What the fuck was going on?

What the fuck was wrong with his eyes?

 _Why can’t I see?_

“You’re safe, you’re okay…” Brennen was still talking, still trying to calm him down even as terror and panic created a screaming maelstrom of emotions in his chest.

“Brennen, I can’t see,” Colby whispered, because that was the problem here, because the last time he had been awake he could see. He gripped Brennen tightly, looking all around with his eyes, trying to find a hole in the curtain that covered his vision, trying to fucking see something that wasn’t just a blob of light, a slight light level change in the darkness that surrounded him… “Brennen, please… please tell me this is a prank. Fuck, please dude, please…” 

Colby felt the shudder that went through Brennen’s body at his words, and that reaction told him that it definitely was not a prank, that he was… he was… “You’re okay, dude, you’re okay. We’re gonna be okay. Nurse!” 

Nurse? Where the fuck was he? Was he in a hospital? Why was there a nurse? 

And then it came back.

He had been driving, driving through a busy intersection on a green light, thinking about what movie he was going to see later.

And then there had been impact. The car spinning out of control around him, another impact.

Darkness.

The car had crashed. He had crashed the car...

And now...

And now he was blind...

“Brennen!” Colby pulled Brennen towards him, desperate to feel something solid and steady against him because without being able to see and orient himself everything felt like it was spinning, tilting, whirling out of control, and part of it was probably the panic attack but Colby just felt so disoriented and lost and fucking _terrified..._

“It’s gonna be okay, dude, I promise…” Brennen was stroking Colby’s hair, Colby could feel his fingers running through the strands, and tried to focus on that, not the spinning, twisting void that was opening up in his gut as air ripped in and out of his lungs and his heart did its best to tear from his chest.

Brennen was holding him tightly, so tightly, and Colby thought that might have been the only reason he hadn’t spun off into nothingness. Brennen was still murmuring in his ears, and Colby tried one last, broken plea for a thing he knew wasn’t real… “Brennen please… please tell me it’s a prank…”

But Brennen had no answer for him. “It’ll be okay, bro,” He murmured softly, “It’ll be okay…”

And everything dropped out from under him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So… this is gonna be a thing.
> 
> So, for a variety of reasons, I’m going to be keeping the main story only in Brennen’s POV because well, long story short, I think it’ll make the story more effective.
> 
> But that doesn’t mean that I don’t want to dip into Colby’s POV from time to time. And because this is fanfiction I can do shit like this and you guys are gonna like it lol I also don't feel obligated to stick to my 4000 word goal for chapters so I can post short but effective things?
> 
> I’m also debating keeping the x-rated stuff out of the main story (once we get to it) and just posting it here instead? Maybe? If it’s just gratuitous and not plot progressing? (Keeping in mind that I have a very loose definition of plot-progressing and consider every sex scene in We’ll Be Okay as plot progressing so… do with that as you will).
> 
> Anyway, so yeah, this is my outtakes piece. Enjoy the extra content!
> 
> And yes, the title is a terrible pun. Sorry not sorry.


	2. The Party; Colby’s POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Colby's POV of the party from Ch. 9

"I'm good to open the door, right?" Colby asked Brennen as their Uber pulled to a stop.

"Yeah, man, nothing's next to the car," Brennen answered, and Colby hated the trepidation he could still hear in Brennen's voice.

"Cool," Colby could already hear the music pounding from the house from the inside of the car, but it only got louder when he opened the door, carefully feeling for the ground and the curb with his feet before he stepped out of the car. It made him wish for just a moment that he had his cane, so he could just feel the terrain in front of him, but then he bit the thought back, because he didn't want people seeing it. That visual reminder that he was fucking handicapped now.

He was still himself. Not his disability.

Colby heard the car door open on the other side, listened for Brennen's footfalls coming around the car so he could look in his friend's direction. "You good?" Brennen asked, confirming his location to Colby so he could reach for Brennen's arm as a guide.

"Yeah, I'm good," And maybe it was the alcohol already swirling through his veins but Colby felt just a little more disoriented than usual, relieved to find Brennen's body solidly next to him. "Let's go, dude." Because he needed to do this, needed to prove to Brennen and himself that nothing had to change, not really. He could still do this. For himself and for Brennen.

Colby got the feeling that Brennen knew more about what he was thinking than he was letting on, but he didn't call Colby on it. "Cool," Was all he said, and Brennen started walking, Colby falling with practiced ease into step next to him. He trusted Brennen at this point not to steer him into anything.

He had to.

The door must have opened in front of them, because Colby heard an increase in volume of the music, also able to hear the white noise of multiple conversations. Shit, this was a big party. "Lots of people?" Colby asked.

"Yeah," Brennen answered, "Steps here." And Colby felt Brennen's shoulder pull up, so he knew to lift his feet a little higher to not trip over the stairs. And then he felt the way the voices echoed around him change, felt the texture of the air change, and knew they had stepped into the house. He heard a sticking sound, heard Brennen mutter, "Ew..." and he couldn't help but grin faintly. He remembered the days of trap house parties, where the floors would be sticky for weeks afterwards.

He both missed it and didn't miss it at all.

One thing Colby hadn't anticipated was how strobe lights would affect him. Unable to differentiate it with other visual cues, the flashing light was almost painfully disorienting, and he grimaced, closing his eyes for just a few seconds to get a grip on what he was seeing.

He could almost feel Brennen's concern next to him, a hand coming to rest on his where it held Brennen's arm, but he waved his friend off, opening his eyes and trying to reorient using his other senses. He could feel the ground under his feet, the solid warmth of Brennen almost pressed against his side, and the sound of the voices around him, giving him a vague impression of where he was in space. It was something he was slowly adjusting to, not relying on what he could see to orient himself, because paying attention to and relying on the limited information his eyes were able to give him was almost more disorienting than just closing them.

”Hey! Brennen! Colby! You made it!” Colby heard their names being called. It took him a moment to place a name with the voice, but when he did, he remembered it was one of Jake’s friends, Brett. The music made it hard to track his footfalls, so Colby was slightly startled when he heard the guy's voice right next to him asking, “Yo! What’s up?”

He felt Brennen shift next to him, stepping slightly away from him into where Colby knew Brett to be, and he knew Brennen's body language, so when he heard the back slaps that came from one of Brennen's casual hugs, he could figure out what was going on. "Yo," He said, extending his own hand and trusting that Brett would take the lead with the rest of the hug.

He wasn't wrong, and with mostly muscle memory he was able to hug Brett back easily. ”You guys need drinks?” Brett asked, and Colby grinned, because oh thank God, Brett wasn't going to treat him any differently than normal. He'd gone drinking with the guy before, and he knew how he poured drinks. And Colby wanted some of that.

”Hell yeah,” Colby said, and he could feel the grin that stretched across his face.

And then Colby started a little bit, because Brett had gripped the wrist of his free hand, lifting it and hitting it solidly with what Colby assumed was his own hand. Okay, blind high five. Got it. “Hell yeah, dude! Jack and coke okay?”

He brushed off the initial reaction and shrugged, nodding. “Sure. Why the fuck not?”

"How about you, Brennen?” Colby heard Brett ask Brennen, and he directed his gaze at where he knew them both to be. It was weird, to know that it didn't really matter if Colby "looked" at people when they were talking, but he felt too weird to not do it.

The habit was too hard to break.

“Beer is good, whatever you got, dude," He heard Brennen answer, and he felt disappointment and guilt rear up in him again. He knew exactly what Brennen was trying to do. Not drink so that he could be sober for Colby, and Colby fucking hated that.

Colby hoped that his emotions showed on his face when he asked, “Bro, really?”

“Someone’s gotta get us home, bro,” Brennen knocked against Colby lightly.

Colby felt his face twist in disbelief. Thankfully, even Brett was going to call Brennen's bluff. “Dude, I’ve seen you make it back into your bed after you were completely blackout. You Taylor’s always find you way into some sort of bed,” There was a lilting tease in his voice and Colby laughed, because yeah, wasn't that the fucking truth. Brennen pushed into him just a little bit, reassuringly but also daring Colby to say anything.

But he didn’t. He just directed a quiet smile at where he knew Brennen to be.

Because maybe that bed he would end up in was Colby's.

Brett kept talking, “I’ll make something up for you. You’re not fucking drinking beer at Ethan’s birthday party.”

”Dude,” Brennen protested, but Colby was pretty sure he heard footsteps walking away and knew Brett had not listened to Brennen's protest.

Thankfully.

He needed to set that straight with Brennen. He squeezed Brennen's arm twice where he gripped it, a signal they had evolved for whenever Colby needed his attention. “Yo, what’s up?” He asked, and Colby could tell by the direction of his voice that Brennen was looking at him.

”Brennen, don’t worry about me,” Colby said, because god dammit he just wanted a normal night out. Not Brennen taking it easy or whatever because he felt like he needed to protect Colby. He felt way too guilty to let that happen. “Please? Just do what you would do if this was like it was before, okay? Please? I really, really, hate to think that you’re not enjoying yourself because of me.”

“I can have fun without getting drunk,” Brennen defended, but Colby made sure his face straight up called Brennen out on his bullshit. 

“You’d better fucking chug that drink he’s bringing you,” Colby threatened, and he couldn't see Brennen's reactions, but he hoped that even though the words were playful, his tone was serious. Because he wanted Brennen to have fun with him, dammit. Not be sober on some misplaced babysitter duty.

”Colby...” Brennen started to protest but Colby cut him off.

”Brennen, please,” Colby said, and he could hear how his voice sounded almost desperate. “Can we please just have a... a fucking normal night out?” Because... fuck, Colby just wanted to know that they could still do this, that he and Brennen's relationship hadn't been completely ruined by Colby losing his sight, that there was still a chance for...

For their friendship and... for more.

Because Colby was trying to put it on the back burner, but it felt like with every day he spent with Brennen like this, blind and in such close physical proximity, his feelings just got stronger.

And he just wanted Brennen to look past the blindness to see him again.

"Yo," Brett announced his reappearance and Colby felt the guy press a drink into his hand. And Colby looked towards Brennen, holding his cup out for a cheers. There was only the briefest of hesitations, before Brennen clonked his solo cup against Colby's and they both drank. Colby took a couple of sips of the drink and _shit_ that was strong, just like he had been hoping, but Brennen didn't move for a few seconds after starting to drink. And Colby was confused until he felt an empty cup knock against his, confirming that Brennen had finished his drink.

And Colby just grinned at him, because thank God, that was what old Brennen would have done. Maybe there was a chance for them after all. "Hell yeah, Brother," Colby congratulated him.

"Shall we go socialize?" Colby heard Brennen ask, and he nodded, not able to pull the grin from his face.

This... this was what he had been missing.

And for a while it really was like old times, minus Colby being able to see. But he followed Brennen around easily, not really detaching more than a few inches, never further from him than being able to reach out with his hand and feel his friend's reassuring solidness against his skin.

They even ended up inventing a new game, Blind Beer Pong. Brennen assured him the other guys were wearing blindfolds, and Brennen and Colby played against Brett and Jake. It wasn't long before Colby and Brennen were absolutely kicking ass.

"Bro, that didn't even hit the table," Colby heard Brett lament to Jake after indeed, Colby didn't even hear the ping pong ball bounce off the table.

"This shit is hard!" Jake complained, "Like, what the fuck Colby, are you sure you can't see?" Colby had already sank half of the shots he'd tried. Jake and Brett were sitting at a big ol' goose egg.

"Pretty sure," Colby said, playfully waving a hand in front of his face. And when Brennen pressed a ball back into his hand, he moved back over to the table. "Okay, snap over the cups again." That was the cue, that Colby could orient on where the cups were based on sound. In theory, everyone else playing could do it too, but Colby was the only one really being successful.

He heard a snapping noise, orienting on where it was coming from. And then he grinned, "I said over the cups, Jake, where the fuck are you snapping?"

There was a roar of laughter from the people watching. "What the fuck?" Jake complained, but Colby could hear the grin in his voice. "You've got like super hearing." Colby heard snapping again, and this time it was where he was pretty sure the cups were, but he still looked at Brennen to confirm.

"He's doing the right place this time?"

"He is," Brennen confirmed, and he could hear the underlying affection in Brennen's voice. It made Colby grin back at him, because this... this was what he had been missing.

"Cool," Colby turned back to the table. "Snap again?" He heard the sound, lined up his shot, and tossed the ball.

And then he heard a solid, wet, plunk of the ball landing in the cup.

There were cheers from all around him, and groans from Jake and Brett, "Next time we play, I call Colby," Jake complained.

And then Brennen's arms were wrapped around his waist, "Nope, he's mine," Brennen disagreed from over his shoulder, and Colby smiled.

Brennen called him _his_... that made his heart happy. Colby leaned back into Brennen's arms, lamenting a little bit when Brennen pulled back. "Okay, dude, you're up again." And there were ping pong balls pressed into his hand again.

Despite his obvious advantage, and fuck did Colby never think he would be able to call it that, no one made him stop playing. And after he had beaten every challenger he was declared the winner of the night. "We'll train next time," Ethan promised him, even as the kid could barely get his words out with the amount of alcohol he'd been made to drink that night. "And you're going down."

"I'll believe it when I see it," Colby commented back, leaning into where he could feel Brennen pressed against him on the couch. He heard a soft noise of affection from Brennen, the arm that was slung over the back of the couch almost coming to rest over his shoulders.

Fuck... Colby loved this, wanted this, wanted Brennen in this way. If this was what dating Brennen would be like... then he was all in.

Eventually, the amount of alcohol he had ingested caught up with him, and he had to ask, "Alright guys, where's the bathroom?"

He ignored the teasing about "breaking the seal" holding up his middle finger in the general direction he heard the teasing coming from, which just caused more laughter. "I'll show you," He heard Brett's voice, and Colby held out his hand, letting Brett pull him to his feet, grinning as the world spun pleasantly around him.

"You good?" He heard Brennen ask, and Colby turned, throwing his friend a thumbs up. "Yeah, I'm good, dude," He answered, "I can still piss on my own." But there was no bitterness, only teasing.

"Okay..." Brennen said cautiously, and Colby turned back to Brett.

"Just let me like, hold your arm like this..." Colby traced his way up the hand holding his, moving until he could wrap a hand around Brett's upper arm. "There you go." And Colby still felt a little awkward about asking for this much contact from people, but when he heard that there was no awkwardness in the affirmative from Brett he relaxed a little.

"It's gonna be this way," Brett started walking, and Colby followed him.

It wasn't as easy or as natural as he had gotten with Brennen, but it was still effective, and they moved with relative ease through the crowd of people. Colby knew they had found the bathroom when he heard a light switch flick, and the bright bathroom lights all but overwhelmed him for a moment. "Shit..." He muttered, rubbing his eyes with his free hand.

"Shit, sorry," Brett apologized quickly, "I forgot you can kinda see light."

But Colby waved him off, "It's good, dude," He assured the guy, "It can just be kinda a lot when it's the only thing I can see, you know?"

"Yeah," Brett said, his voice still apologetic. "Okay, you do your business. I'll be out here, okay?"

Colby threw Brett a thumbs up, and he heard the door close behind him. Gratefully, Colby felt his way to the toilet.

He was washing his hands when he heard the yelling start.

”Police! Yo! Get the fuck out!”

And Colby's heart fucking stopped. "Oh shit..." He muttered, opening the door to the bathroom, not even remembering to turn the lights out because some instinct in his mind was telling his to get the fuck out of the house. And then he remembered that he was blind, and that he didn't know the layout of this place, and that he was pretty fucked if Brett had just taken off, or gotten distracted, or... Oh fuck, Brennen must be freaking out...

And it had been okay to not be able to see while they were all just fucking around, when Colby was kicking ass at blind beer pong, but now that there was a crisis situation, Colby was reminded just how helpless not being able to see made him. And he hated being blind all over again as panic gripped tight fingers into his chest.

And then there was a hand gripping his wrist and pulling and Colby yelped because he hadn't expected the contact and who the fuck had grabbed him? He was almost having flashbacks to Florida when the cops had grabbed him and Sam and now he was blind and practically helpless and who the fuck had him?

"Colby! Dude!" And then he heard the voice and his heart rate decelerated just a little bit. It was Brett, it was a friend who had his arm. "Sorry, dude, come on, let's get out of here..."

"Fuck, I didn't realize it was you," Colby said as he started to follow the pull on his arm, pulling back just a little bit so he could get a more secure and orienting grip on Brett's arm instead because he couldn't fucking see. "Scared the shit out of me, dude."

"Sorry, sorry," Brett apologized, "That was my bad."

"Brennen..." Colby started.

"Brennen will get out on his own," Brett said quickly, "Right now, I'm more worried about us, okay?" And Colby was getting jostled, but what did he expect with everyone trying to flee at once, and all of his senses were just confused and overwhelmed between all the noises and the flashing lights and everyone around him moving all at once and he couldn't get oriented, just clinging to Brett and having to trust that the guy would get him to safety.

Colby could hear instantly the moment they stepped outside the house, because the echoing of all the voices stopped and when had the music stopped? Colby hadn't even noticed. "Brennen," Colby said urgently, "We gotta wait for him, or he's going to freak out."

"We can call him later or..."

"No," And Colby dragged Brett to a stop, "Dude, I can promise you he's freaking out and we need to wait for him."

"I... fine," Brett said, and Colby felt Brett pull on him again, "Come on, if we wait by the fence we should be able to see him come out of the house."

"Fuck, okay, okay..." And when they reached the fence Colby pressed his back against it, relieved that he only had to worry about something unknown coming at him from the front, and not behind him. "Shit, shit, shit..." His heart was racing, and his vision was mostly dark except for some flashing brightness off in the distance that he imagined was probably cop cars. "Do the cop cars have their lights on?" He asked, able to vaguely make out the outline of the house against it.

"Yeah," Brett answered, and he sounded distracted, probably looking for Brennen. "There's like four of them, what the fuck..."

Colby's heart was racing, just fucking wishing he could see in that moment because he needed Brennen, needed to feel his body against his because he was fucking terrified and he couldn't see and, "Colby!"

He heard his name.

"Brennen!" He hollered back, immediately orienting on the sound of Brennen's voice, knowing that he was coming out of the house where they had just been.

He heard Brett call out for Brennen too, and he hoped that Brett could see their friend.

”Fuck... Dude! Where are you?” Brennen called, and Colby responded quickly.

”I’m here, Brennen, I’m...” And there was too much going on, and Colby couldn't hear Brennen's footsteps but he just needed, needed to feel Brennen against him so he pushed off the fence, moving carefully towards where he had heard Brennen's voice come from, wishing he had his cane and hoping he didn't trip over anything...

”Holy shit, Colby, dude, Colby...”

And by the time he had reoriented on Brennen's location there were already strong, familiar arms wrapped around him. Colby hugged him back tightly, clung to the rock he had come to count on in the confusion and turmoil since he had lost his sight, soaked in the safety and security that came from being back in Brennen's arms. ”Brennen, bro...” He could feel his body shaking, vibrating with fear and anxiety now that he had something solid to press against, “Bro... I couldn’t... I couldn’t...” _I couldn't see, I couldn't get out, I couldn't fucking help myself even though I needed to, Brennen, Brennen, I couldn't see..._ But none of that made it out, Colby choking it back in his relief to just be in Brennen's arms again.

"Colby, fuck..." Brennen sounded just a relieved, and Colby hoped that Brennen felt the same way.

”Guys, we gotta go,” Brett reminded them quietly, “Come on, out the back.” And Colby was both frustrated and relieved at Brett's words, frustrated because he never wanted to let go of Brennen again, but also relieved that someone was keeping track of what was going on, of what they actually needed to do.

And Brennen wrapped one of Colby's arms up in his, not seeming to want to let go either, and started leading Colby out the back, and to safety.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been wanting to write just a general section from Colby's POV now that he's a little bit more accustomed to the blindness about what he's perceiving and what he's using to function and all.
> 
> An alternate POV of this scene felt like a cool choice.
> 
> Any other scenes you'd like to see from Colby's POV? 
> 
> Next update to the main story comes on Monday!
> 
> As always, hope you guys enjoyed, let me know what you think, and I'll see you in the next one!


	3. The First Kiss... and then some

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which we finally earn that Explicit rating...
> 
> Picks up immediately after Chapter 12 in the main story.

Things got intense pretty quickly.

Because it was their first kiss, but the tension that had been coiling between them made Brennen not want to even think about stopping. Colby seemed to agree, sinking into his space like he belonged there, pressing against his chest and Brennen wasn’t quite sure how it happened but suddenly Colby was in his lap perched over him on his knees, and his arms were around Brennen’s neck, and Brennen was breaking the kiss of their mouths so that he could trail his lips and his teeth down Colby’s neck, biting gently into the skin there. “No hickies?” He asked, and the growl his voice came out in turned _him_ on.

”Uh... fuck, yeah, probably not,” Colby groaned, and there was complaint in his voice.

”Dammit...” Brennen sighed. “I’ll put them somewhere off camera...” And Colby’s hips jerked where Brennen had his fingers gripping them.

”Fuck, please...” Colby breathed, grinding down against him and Brennen could feel the start of hardness in his jeans. Brennen wasn’t far behind, and he hissed in a breath at the contact, tightening his grip on Colby’s hips and pulling his friend down harder against him.

Colby let out a broken little gasp, and his fingers wove into Brennen’s hair, tugging at the hair at the nape of his neck. “Can you take your shirt off?” He asked, “I want... I want to _feel_ you...”

”God, yes...” Brennen pulled back so he should shrug out of his shirt, not even noting where it was tossed because of the fact that Colby’s fingers had already descended on the planes of his chest, tracing down his neck to his collarbones. And then he got a mischievous look on his face and he was leaning in and nuzzling his lips against Brennen’s neck.

The sound that came out of Brennen’s mouth was just embarrassing, a choked gasp of a moan catching in his throat. “You bastard...” Brennen muttered, his voice catching again as Colby licked against the skin, and goddamnit his neck was _sensitive_... “Colby...” Brennen growled.

He heard Colby’s noise of amusement against his skin, his voice low and raspy, “Bro... you’re so fucking hot... just your fucking noises...” He ran his hands down Brennen’s chest as he spoke, “I’ve want to fucking kiss you and touch you for so fucking long...”

“Fuck...” Brennen whispered, his fingers worming themselves subconsciously under Colby’s shirt, feeling the warm skin against the pads of his fingers, feeling the way Colby’s stomach clenched at the contact. “Colby... can I...?” He felt Colby shudder, pulling back from Brennen so he could work his shirt off, nonverbally giving his permission. “Fuck...” Brennen chewed on the inside of his lips, eyes moving greedily over the newly exposed skin. “Fuck, you’re so hot...” He breathed.

”You can touch me,” Colby breathed, and Brennen watched his rib cage move under his perfect skin. “Fuck, Brennen, you can do whatever you want, just please...”

“Fucking fuck...” And Brennen had never made out with another dude sober, had never felt up another dude sober, but Brennen’s thoughts had been torturing him for so long, telling him about all the delicious, dirty things he could do to Colby, all the wonderful little sounds that he could pull from his throat, the way he could make Colby’s face twist in pleasure... he was getting his hands all up in that.

And he had just started tracing his hands over Colby’s chest, brushing absently across his nipples, when he heard a startled gasp that almost came out as a squeak. It took him a moment to register it, but when he did, Brennen couldn’t help the laugh that burst from his lips. “Dude, what the fuck was that?”

Colby’s cheeks turned pink. ”I have very sensitive nipples, Brennen,” Colby retorted, pulling his hands back from Brennen to press them over said nipples.

And Brennen felt the evil grin that spread over his face. “Oh really?” He asked, a plan already brewing in his head. “You know, I always wondered if you were just acting it up for the camera...”

”Shut the fuck up, Brennen...” Colby pouted, honest to god pouted, and Brennen felt another rush of affection for his friend. Boyfriend?

It didn’t really matter. All that Brennen really cared about was that now that Brennen had permission to kiss Colby whenever he wanted to, he was totally going to take advantage of that. So he twisted fingers in Colby’s hair and pulled him down to Brennen’s mouth again, his free hand pushing Colby’s hand out of the way so that he could brush over Colby’s nipple another time.

For science.

He felt the groan against his tongue, felt the aborted hip thrust against his own pelvis, and continued the torturous little circles, feeling Colby almost sag against him before pressing back harder with his mouth. “You’re so fucking hot,” Brennen whispered, breaking the kiss and taking perfect advantage of where his mouth was located to wrap lips around the nipple his other hand couldn't get to.

”God, fuck...” Colby groaned, pressing his chest forward into Brennen’s mouth, which he 100% was not going to complain about. Not when Colby looped his arms back around Brennen’s neck and pressed his face into the top of Brennen’s head. “God... fucking... fuck...”

”So fucking hot...” Brennen cooed again, and his free hand had drifted back down to Colby’s hips and wrapped around until it could grip halfway into Colby’s ass. He caught a noise from Colby, and it sounded mostly amused, but it was quickly pressed into a lower moan as Brennen used his new grip to grind Colby’s groin into his. Because now he could really feel that Colby’s cock was at attention, and he didn’t know how far he was allowed to go, how far he was comfortable going because he hadn’t really done this before but... fuck, he wanted Colby...

”Have you done this before?” He asked, low in his throat, “With a dude?” And Colby didn’t answer for a moment, grinding against him again, so Brennen pulled back and stopped what he was doing with his mouth and with his fingers so that Colby could focus on him. Colby sent him a look of cross disappointment, rolling his eyes just a little bit.

”Uh... kinda?” Colby was still tracing his fingers over Brennen’s chest, but thankfully his wasn’t as sensitive as Colby’s seemed to be. Besides, Colby was probably mostly just “seeing” with his fingers.

”Kinda?” Brennen asked. “Like bumpin’ and grindin’ or full on dick in butt sex?”

”Uh... well...” And Colby was doing that thing that Brennen knew would be him avoiding Brennen’s gaze if he could see as his cheeks and ears flamed _crimson_.

”You gay-ass piece of shit, you’ve totally gotten fucked in the ass, haven’t you?” And Brennen couldn’t help but tease him, even as his brain registered a teeny bit of jealousy that someone had gotten to do that with Colby before he had.

Colby groaned, burying his face in Brennen’s shoulder, “Fuck, yeah, maybe?”

”How do you ‘maybe’ get fucked in the ass?”

”Brennen, I swear to fuck if you don’t shut up I’m never letting your dick near my ass again.”

Brennen pouted, “That’s dirty, Colby.”

”I can be dirtier,” And Brennen figured out where this was probably going before Colby started licking at his neck again, his hands catching Brennen’s so that he couldn’t stop him. The noise Brennen let out when Colby’s teeth grazed down the tendon in his neck was frankly embarrassing.

”Fuck, fuck you...” Brennen muttered, pushing back just slightly against Colby’s hold, enough to make a point but not enough to actually encourage Colby to let him go. He kinda liked this pushier Colby.

”So... what have you done?” Colby asked quietly, his voice low and breathy, still kissing and licking his way all over Brennen’s neck which was totally not fair at all.

”Uh...” Brennen was having a hard time getting the words out, because fuck, his neck really was his weak spot. “Fuck, Colby...”

”Are words hard?” Colby asked, and there was teasing in his voice.

And that wouldn’t stand. Brennen broke Colby’s hold on his hands, flipping them so that he was the one holding Colby’s wrists, so he could pull Colby forward to get his teeth around a nipple. Colby let out a startled noise of pleasure, but didn’t seem to mind the flip in power, wiggling against Brennen’s now fully interested dick in a way that made Brennen’s whole body pulse. “Fuck...” Brennen growled.

”Mmph,” Colby arched his back a little bit, closing his eyes and letting out a hum, “You were saying?” And the mischief was still in his voice, but it was breathy enough that Brennen let it pass this time.

Fuck. And it was a little embarrassing, because now he knew that Colby had more experience than him, but fuck, it was Colby, and Colby had been vulnerable with him all day. Brennen could return the favor. “Mostly just drunken makeouts and handjobs,” He admitted. “I’ve never... like done anything beyond that.”

Colby nodded, even as his eyes remained closed. “You wanna fuck me?” He asked, shifting again against Brennen’s groin, and letting out a higher pitched noise when Brennen accidentally bit his chest harder than he’d meant to in his shock at the question.

”I... fuck, Colby...” Brennen groaned, because that noise had been sexy as shit, and Brennen dropped Colby’s hands so that he could wrap both hands around Colby’s ass, pulling his friend against him. “If that’s... if that’s what you’d prefer?”

Colby shrugged, and his arms settled around Brennen’s neck again. “I’m pretty comfortable with both,” He answered honestly.

 _Oh..._ and Brennen liked that a lot more than he thought he would. “Gotcha,” He said, and pulled Colby down into him again, hearing the soft inhale of breath against his ear.

”Just uh... maybe... maybe not here?” Colby asked, and his mouth was almost brushing Brennen’s neck as he spoke, and two could play at that game, so Brennen massaged the inside of Colby’s hips, remembering the shuddered half gasp he had gotten from the motion all those months ago. Colby didn’t disappoint, his abs tightening and a gasp ripping into his lungs. “Oh fuck...” He whispered.

”Yeah, uh... not here would uh... probably be good...” Because maybe there was no one around now, but technically they were still out in public, and the last thing Brennen needed was a picture of him balls deep in Colby Brock circulating...

Even if the idea of having that photo made him hornier than he cared to admit.

Not to mention that whole idea of never having done this before and not being sure if he was actually comfortable with the idea of fucking Colby in the ass yet...

Colby was talking again. ”You kinda... you kinda need a lot of lube,” Colby breathed, grinding back again, setting up a slow, teasing rhythm. “And like... some prep is good. Like... with toys or... or fingers...” He was losing some of the vowels as he spoke, the sensations clearly a lot.

”Sensitive, huh?”

Colby nodded, smiling sheepishly. “Always been kinda sensitive,” He answered, “But uh... I think it’s more now that... that I’m blind.”

Fuck. Brennen had almost forgotten, though he wasn’t exactly sure how. “Sorry...”

But Colby didn’t seemed too bothered by the statement. He shrugged. “It’s not a bad thing,” He pointed out. “I just might have to relearn limits and shit...” He lost the last word on half a whine as Brennen’s thumb dipped under his pants line to rub at the skin there, encountering something very hard and wet.

God dammit, he hadn’t meant to just go feeling Colby up without asking, pulling his thumb back and apologizing, “Shit... sorry...”

”Why are you apologizing?” Colby grumbled, his voice high in his throat, bucking up and almost chasing after Brennen’s thumb, “Fucking do that again...”

Fuck, apparently he had permission. “Okay.” It was all he could get out, but all he really needed, and he pressed his fingers into Colby’s pants. It was deliberate this time, and Brennen quickly found where the head was already leaking and stroked his fingers around the tip. Colby whimpered out something definitively sexy, and he pressed forward against Brennen’s fingers, indirectly also applying friction to Brennen’s own cock. “Fuck...” Brennen groaned.

”Fuck... fucking...” Colby was reaching down, undoing his jeans to give Brennen more room to work and his dick was already poking out the top of his boxer briefs. Brennen could see the flushed skin and the line of hardness that ran back down into his groin.

”Can I...” Brennen didn’t even need to finish the sentence.

”Fucking _please_.” And Colby braced himself with a grip on Brennen’s shoulders as Brennen wrapped his hand around Colby. The air sucked into Colby’s lungs transformed into a high pitched noise as he exhaled, and Brennen set up an even stroking rhythm, fucking loving the half gasped sounds he was pulling from Colby’s mouth, the swears that barely got enough air to make out what he would be saying.

God, Colby was hot. His eyes were closed, head alternating between learning forward and into Brennen’s space, and leaning back, gasping up into the sky. His breath shuddered in and out of his lungs, moving the sun tanned skin that covered the muscles on his chest, hips gyrating to get the most out of the friction. Brennen dipped his mouth to Colby’s nipple again, and the choked gasp that he got... fuck... Brennen pulled Colby down harder against him, his body fucking desperate for some sort of stimulation given the fucking show he was getting right now.

”Brennen... Brennen please...” Colby was gasping, and his hips were moving in sync to Brennen’s strokes, his abs tightening and relaxing as he took in the sensations, the friction on his cock, the occasional swipes over the head, either caused by Brennen’s fingers or a brush against Brennen’s abdomen, the mouth biting and sucking at his chest, the hand gripping at his hips and squeezing at his ass... “Fuck... please please please... fuck, Brother... I’m gonna fucking cum...”

And Brennen know Colby couldn’t see his face, but he broke the contact his mouth had with Colby’s nipple, staring up at him and just fucking growling, “Then fucking cum. I wanna... I wanna see it...” And pressing his mouth back to Colby’s chest.

”Fuck, fuck, fuck...” Colby was losing letters in the words, his breath coming out of him in high pitched noises that got higher and more intense as he got closer and closer and... “Fuck, fuck, please...”

”God...” Brennen could feel the desperation in his movements, how fucking close he was, and maybe his hand hurt and his dick was screaming but fuck, he just wanted to see this, to feel this, and when Colby’s body locked up, he lifted his head from Colby’s chest so that he could watch the orgasm pass over Colby’s face, cater his strokes to work him through the sensations, help him move his hips in sync with the thrusts so that he could get the most sensation out of them...

”God, fuck, I... fuck, Brennen...” Colby panted, and he opened his eyes and fuck they just looked so blue, wide with the rush of hormones that had accompanied his orgasm, and Brennen swore that for just a moment, Colby could actually see him... “Fuck... I... fuck...”

And there was semen all over his chest, and Brennen wasn’t super thrilled about that, but he supposed that kinda just came with the territory, because he’d do it again and again to watch Colby fucking lose control like that again...

And then Colby was moving, sliding off of his lap and to the ground, and Brennen only had a moment to try to figure out what the fuck he was doing before Colby’s fingers slid to the waistband of his jeans and undid the button before fishing in his pants for...

”Fuck...” Brennen hissed, as Colby wrapped warm fingers around his cock, hard and pulsing after what he had just seen, felt, and Brennen took way too long to figure out what Colby’s plan was because before he could really register it, Colby had his mouth around his cock.

”Oh fuck!” Brennen couldn’t stop the cry at the sudden rush of warm, wet sensation around him, on the sensitive skin that had just been so on edge, was so hard and full of blood and Brennen swore every single one of his nerve endings was fucking standing on end in that moment. “Fuck, fuck, Colby...”

“Is this okay?” Colby pulled off to ask, and it took everything Brennen had to control the whimper of protest that wanted to escape his throat.

”God, yes, fuck, please...” And he might be embarrassed about how desperate that sounded later, but that was a problem for future Brennen, because Colby was already moving, pulling Brennen in and out of his mouth, his wonderful, wonderful mouth, and all Brennen could do was grip into Colby’s hair and try not to pull Colby down on his dick. But then, of course, Colby was full of surprises, and he only got a mischievous look as a warning before Colby took his whole fucking cock down his throat.

”Fuck!” Brennen yelled again, blinking at Colby in absolute shock because what the fuck... “What the...”

Colby swallowed around him a couple of times, his tongue doing something wonderful up at the base, before he pulled back, pulling in a ragged breath. ”I don’t really have a gag reflex,” Colby answered, and he probably meant for the response to be casual, but his voice still came out throaty and raspy, from his orgasm or from the deep-throating Brennen didn’t really know, but he wasn’t going to complain, because it was still sexy as _fuck_...

”Of fucking course you don’t...” Brennen groaned, tightening his grip in Colby’s hair as his friend slid down his dick again. “Fuck...”

And how the fuck was he supposed to last long at all with the fucking sinful things that Colby was doing with his tongue and his teeth, the way his throat fucking massaged Brennen’s cock in all the right places... “Colby... Colby, I’m gonna... fuck, I’m gonna...”

And Colby just nodded, and took Brennen down his throat.

”I... god...” And that took the last little bit of control that Brennen had, because he was coming down Colby’s throat without being able to stop himself. “Fuck... fuck...”

And Brennen must have closed his eyes for just a moment, because when he looked up at Colby, Colby was grinning at him, zipping his pants back up, and something fucking shot through his stomach because did Colby just _swallow_? “Did you just fucking swallow that?”

“Fuck no, I spit that shit out.” Colby made a face, feeling the ground next to the bench. Brennen chuckled, watching Colby with some curiosity as to what he was doing. Colby felt for a few more seconds, and then a look of mild frustration came over his face and he asked dryly, “Could you grab the backpack, please?”

Right. Brennen could do that. He guiltily reached just a few feet further than Colby’s fingers had, passing the bag to his friend before he quietly fixed his own pants situation. Colby nodded his thanks, unzipping the bag to feel around inside. He pulled out some napkins and a water bottle, passing the napkins to Brennen and cracking the water bottle open himself.

Oh yeah, there was semen drying on his chest. Ew... Brennen cringed as he wiped up the fluid, wrapping the soiled napkins up in a clean one so that Colby could stick it back in the bag. “Water?” Colby asked, holding the bottle towards him, and Brennen took it gratefully.

”Thanks, dude.”

Colby nodded, taking the napkin that was handed back to him and shoving it in the water bottle pocket in his backpack. “You clean for cuddles?” He asked softly, an uncharacteristic vulnerability back in his voice, despite what they had just done.

Or maybe because of it.

”Yeah,” Brennen answered, resting a hand on Colby’s shoulder so that he could orient on Brennen’s location. Colby stood up before he moved back up onto the bench, tucking himself back in against Brennen. Brennen wrapped arms around him gently, feeling Colby grab his arm back. “Hey,” Brennen murmured to him quietly.

”Hey,” Colby smiled at him, “How you doing? Still gay?”

And Brennen hadn’t expected that, so he laughed out loud. “Yup, definitely still gay,” He confirmed. “More gay now, if anything.”

”Good,” Colby nodded, and tucked his face into Brennen’s shoulder.

Brennen hugged him tighter for a moment, a shiteating grin taking over his face before he asked, “You planned this, didn’t you?”

And Colby had gotten better at picking up his tone, because he asked warily, “Planned what?”

”On getting some today.”

Colby snorted. “Maybe...” He shrugged, “I had uh... hoped things might go in that direction.” And Brennen could hear the grin in his voice.

Brennen smirked. “You got lube in that bag too?”

Colby laughed, “No. Because then I might have been tempted to let you fuck me and we probably shouldn’t do that out here.”

Brennen felt an embarrassed laugh bubble out of him, and he reached for Colby’s face, turning it so that he could kiss his friend. Colby hummed a happy sound, pressing a hand against Brennen’s chest. They kissed for a long moment. Now that the heat of need was gone, Brennen could just appreciate the sensation of Colby’s mouth pressed against his, the physical novelty of being able to feel the guy he loved so close to him.

Fuck... he could say that now.

”I can feel the stupid grin on your face,” Colby commented, breaking the kiss.

”I just love you,” Brennen said matter of factly, not even worried about being subtle. They were well fucking over that. But it was still wonderful to be able to say it.

”Love you too,” Colby murmured back, the look on his face soft. And then there was a moment of quiet between them, where Brennen just felt Colby’s forehead pressed against his, the warmth of his body in the air that was starting to cool around them.

”Does this mean I get to tell my mom we’re dating now?” Brennen asked.

Colby stiffened for a moment, uncertainty taking over his face. “Uh... I guess?” And Brennen was worried about the apprehension he heard before Colby spoke again. “How’s she going to react?” He asked quietly.

And then Brennen knew the anxiety had nothing to do with the idea of dating Brennen, just telling his mom. So he grinned when he said, “Dude, she’s already threatened to beat me up if I hurt you.”

And Colby was startled into a laugh, “Oh, okay,” He chuckled.

”So... we’re dating now? I can like... call you my boyfriend or whatever?” Brennen asked, suddenly unsure, because he was pretty sure about how Colby felt about the whole thing but for all he knew he had read the whole situation wrong and Colby wanted nothing to do with that...

”If you’re okay with dating a blind guy, then yeah... I’d like that...” Colby said faintly, and Brennen heard the insecurity in _his_ voice too.

God, they were both a couple of idiots weren’t they?

”I would love to date you, you fucking moron,” Brennen breathed, pulling Colby’s mouth in for another kiss.

He heard the chuckle he surprised out of Colby, but it almost sounded like a bit of a broken noise, so Brennen didn’t let go of Colby when the kiss broke, just pulling his _boyfriend_ against his chest.

He could say that now.

And he really liked the sound of that.

”Fuck...” Colby said, and Brennen could hear the emotions in his voice. “Fuck, just... I love you, dude.”

”I love you too, bro,” Brennen murmured back, wrapping his arms around Colby. There was a moment of peaceful quiet between the two of them. Because with all the shit that had happened, they had made it back out stronger and better. And Fuck, there was still shit they would have to tackle, but they would do it together.

Because he could finally call Colby his in that way.

”Did your mom really threaten to beat you up if you hurt me?” Colby asked, and Brennen heard the teasing amusement in his voice.

”She did!” Brennen answered, letting mock outrage fill his voice. “My own mother, and she’s more worried about you...”

And Colby laughed. He kissed Brennen one more time before getting to his feet and stretching out. “We should probably be headed back soon,” he said, “I think it’s getting dark.”

And when Brennen looked up at the horizon, where the sun was truly starting to dip beneath the horizon, and he nodded. Because maybe Colby could navigate in darkness, but Brennen sure as shit couldn’t, and they still needed to get back to the street.

”It is,” Brennen confirmed, quickly locating their shirts and passing Colby his, lamenting as he pulled it on. “Yeah, we should probably head out.” His stomach grumbled as he went to pull his own shirt on. “And get some food.”

”There was food in the backpack,” Colby pointed out, throwing it back over his shoulders.

”Better food than Tender Greens?”

”Well... no,” Colby admitted sheepishly.

”Then that’s where we’re going,” Brennen announced. “Then we’re going back to one of our places and I am going to snuggle the _shit_ out of you.”

”Is that a promise?” Colby’s grin was teasing when he found Brennen’s arm.

”You betcha,” Brennen felt the grin across his own face. “You ready?”

”Yeah,” Colby nodded, “Let’s go.”

And so they did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was so much fun to write. And there will definitely be a part two to this because yay! I can finally write smut with these guys!
> 
> Lemme know what you thought! Hope you enjoyed, and I’ll see you all in the next one!


	4. And Then Some Part 2

While a good idea, dinner seemed to finally remind Colby that he’d had a fucking long day.

Colby was exhausted. Brennen could see the effects of the jet lag finally catching up with him after they ate, his boyfriend (he could say that now) leaning against him, eyes slipping closed in the drive back to Colby’s apartment.

”You can close your eyes if you want to, dude,” Brennen murmured, squeezing Colby’s hand where he held it. “I won’t blame you for passing out.”

”I’m fine,” Colby argued faintly, but the sheer exhaustion in his voice belied his statement. Brennen chuckled, just pulling Colby against him until his head was pillowed in Brennen’s shoulder. “Bro, I’m fine.”

”Uh huh...” Brennen said with humor in his voice, “Then just cuddle me, okay?”

“If you insist...” Colby muttered, snuggling further into Brennen, and Brennen smiled softly at him. God, he was so cute when he was sleepy. And Brennen got to call Colby _his_ now... He kissed Colby’s forehead affectionately, hearing the small noise Colby made in response.

_God, he was so fucking cute..._

It was quiet between them for a few moments, as Brennen gradually felt more of the passive tension in Colby’s body drain as he moved closer to sleep. Brennen lifted his phone, sitting innocuously in his lap, and opened the front camera, taking a quick picture of Colby snuggled into him. He’d never post it anywhere, not without permission, but fuck... he just wanted to capture this moment.

Colby was his. He could kiss and snuggle and do what he’d been wanting to do for months to the guy. It was a good feeling.

”How long have you two been together?” The Uber driver asked, and Brennen looked up at him. Their driver was a younger Hispanic girl, probably Brennen’s age, maybe a little bit older.

”Uh... only really officially as of today,” He answered honestly, moving his hair back from his face with his free hand. “But uh... we’ve known each other for years.”

”You’re really cute together,” She said with a smile.

Brennen smiled, “Thanks,” He said. She didn’t say anything else, and Brennen didn’t feel the need to continue the conversation, just watching Colby sleep.

Brennen shook him when the Uber arrived back at the apartment. It was adorable to watch Colby blink his way back to wakefulness, groaning and murmuring, “Brennen?”

”Yo,” Brennen said softly. “We’re at your place, dude.” 

Colby blinked a few more times, then nodded. “Okay...” He murmured, yawning.

_So fucking cute..._

Brennen hopped out the door on his side, moving around the side of the car to get Colby’s. “I can get my own door,” Colby complained, still rubbing his eyes, but there was no real bite in his voice.

“Uh huh,” Brennen said again, taking Colby’s extended hand and pulling him out of the car. Colby pulled his cane out of his lap and extended it, and Brennen watched their driver’s eyes widen in understanding. “Thanks for the ride,” Brennen said to her, hoping she wouldn’t say anything.

”Of course,” She said, and her customer service smile was back on her face. “You guys have a good day.”

”You too,” Colby said, turning back in her direction. He threaded an arm through Brennen’s, and they moved with practiced ease into the apartment building.

There was such a change from four months ago. Rather than blindly letting Brennen lead him, Colby was able to mostly direct them, feeling down the buttons on the elevator to the correct floor. “Our driver thought we were cute,” Brennen commented absently, “When you fell asleep on me.”

”I was just dozing,” Colby commented, although a smile spread across his face, “And of course we fucking are.”

Brennen laughed, caught off guard by Colby’s statement. “Damn right,” He agreed.

”God, I’m so ready to be in my own fucking bed...” Colby groaned, “We were basically sleeping on cots in the church and fucking Corey snores so loud...” 

Brennen chuckled. “Well you’ll get lots of sleep tonight, Brother. Sleep in as late as you want.”

”You fucking know it...” Colby commented. The door to the elevator opened and Colby was the first to move, leading them out of the elevator and down to his apartment, digging in his pocket for his keys. “You staying tonight?” Colby asked, and it was said so casually that Brennen almost missed the question, having to blink a few times before he registered it.

”What?”

And Colby’s cheeks were a little pink as he turned the lock, but he clarified, “You uh... you don’t have to, but uh... I didn’t know if you’d made plans to spend the night tonight?”

Brennen blinked a few more times, following Colby inside because like a dumbass it hadn’t even occurred to him that Colby would want him to crash over although it totally should have because why the fucking wouldn’t he but he didn’t have anything and someone had to let Kobe out and... ”Brennen?” Colby’s eyebrows were furrowed as he closed the door, “I can’t see your face and you’re kinda freakin’ me out, dude.”

”Shit, I’m sorry,” Brennen said quickly, “You’re fine, dude, I just, like it didn’t occur to me to be ready to spend the night and I have to take care of Kobe and like... trust me, I’d fucking love to, but uh...” He started running through logistics in his brain, like maybe he could get Jake to take Kobe out, or maybe he could run home, let him out, pack him up and bring him over here or...

”No, dude, it’s fine,” Colby waved him off, and then he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up to see Colby looking vaguely at him. “I should’ve mentioned it earlier. No pressure.” And he almost managed to keep the disappointment out of his voice.

”I can stay until you fall asleep at least?” Brennen offered, sliding his hands to Colby’s hips, pressing in closer to his boyfriend. “You sleep like a fucking rock. Probably wouldn’t notice me getting up.”

And there was a smile again. Colby leaned up, probably looking for a kiss, and Brennen was happy to give it to him, pulling Colby in closer and gently kissing him. Colby hummed a satisfied noise, resting both arms around Brennen’s neck and pressing closer to him. And even though Brennen’s body was more than willing (and frankly pushing for) a round 2, he knew Colby was running on fumes, and so he restrained himself and kept the kiss sweet and lazy. And Colby huffed a happy noise, leaning back and smiling. “Fuck, I love this...” He murmured.

”Me too,” Brennen whispered back. And then Colby yawned hugely, and Brennen chuckled. “Alright, dude. Bedtime.”

”Yeah, yeah,” Colby rolled his eyes, but nonetheless pulled back from Brennen, hanging up his cane and kicking his shoes off as Brennen did the same. Colby meandered easily back to his room, Brennen following behind. He stripped his shirt off seemingly without even thinking, but Brennen very much noticed it, whistling at Colby in appreciation. Colby laughed, tossing his shirt in Brennen’s direction. “Shut the fuck up.”

”Just admiring, babe,” Brennen said easily, not even thinking about his words, but then what he said occurred to him, and he froze. “Uh...”

”Babe?” Colby turned to look at him, and there was an unreadable look on his face.

”Is uh... is that okay?” Brennen asked, “Fuck, I’m sorry, it just slipped out.”

Colby shrugged, a small smile breaking out on his face. “It’s okay,” He said quietly, “I uh... I kinda like it.”

Brennen released an explosive breath, “Oh, well thank fuck for that!” He said, running a hand through his hair. “Scared me for a moment, dude.”

”Yeah, no, it’s fine,” Colby assured him, “Just uh... startled me.” He gave Brennen an apologetic smile.

Brennen laughed, “Gonna be a lot of adjusting to this.” He watched Colby yawn into his hand again, “Hey guess what?”

”What?”

”Love you.”

Colby grinned at him. “Love you too.”

”Hey, guess what else?”

”What?”

”Go brush your fucking teeth and come cuddle me.” He got a full on laugh for that one.

”Alright, alright,” And Colby retreated to the bathroom. Brennen pulled off his own shirt, deciding to keep his jeans on for now, and turning the overhead light off, leaving the light leaking under the bathroom door as the only source of light. And before he could think too much more about it he flipped onto Colby’s bed. He almost immediately encountered Colby’s stuffed koala, hiding beneath the sheets. “Hey there,” He commented to the stuffie, moving it out of the way so Brennen could orient on the bed. Uh... did he get under the covers? Stay over? Fuck, this was more complicated than he thought it would be...

He groaned, pulling his phone out and digging through his social media as he tried to keep himself from overthinking, hoping that the lure of Twitter and TikTok would distract him. He dug through his accounts absentmindedly, trying to distract himself from the little voice in his head that kept reminding him that he was going to get to cuddle with Colby. He just saw the usual likes and shit, too many comments for him to bother with right now. Sam was with Kat in an instagram story, Jake was out at some bar. Shit, yeah, he needed to go home and let Kobe out himself.

Dammit. He wanted to stay and cuddle Colby.

But then, that was probably for the better. Just because Colby had done all of this before didn’t mean that Brennen felt comfortable moving quickly through their sexual relationship.

Shit, who _had_ Colby done all of this with before? As far as he knew, Colby hadn’t had a boyfriend, not one that he was public about anyway, he’d definitely know about that. So who...?

He heard the bathroom door open, watched Colby turn the lights off and pause in the doorway, plunging the room into darkness. “Where you at, dude?” He asked.

”I’m in your bed,” Brennen answered quickly, setting his phone off to the side and blinking as his eyes tried to adjust to the darkness, mostly just seeing the bright remains of his phone in his vision. He didn’t miss that this was probably similar to how Colby saw on a daily basis. “Mr. Koala says hi!"

“Oh does he?” He heard Colby move back to the bed, feeling the bed depress slightly as Colby sat down into it. His eyes were slowly adjusting to the streetlights leaking in through the blinds, but he still more heard and felt than saw as one hand tracked out to find Brennen. “Oh hey!” His fingers brushed Brennen’s stomach, making Brennen suck in a quick breath because that tickled.

Colby jerked his hand back, “You good?”

Brennen reached for Colby’s shoulder, able to see his outline, giving Colby a point of reference. “I’m good, dude, just tickled.”

He could almost feel the mischievous grin on Colby’s face. “Tickled, huh?”

Brennen felt himself squinting at Colby, “If you tickle me I will flail and punch you, like, not even joking.”

And his eyes had adjusted enough that Brennen could see that Colby still looked like he was considering it. “Might be worth it...”

”Bro, you’re supposed to be sleeping...” Brennen wrapped an arm around Colby’s abdomen, pulling Colby back into bed and against his body. “Come cuddle me you piece of garbage.”

One of Colby’s isms he’d picked up on.

He heard Colby laugh, but he didn’t fight Brennen, moving back to snuggle in against him. Then a pause, and a “Why are you over the blankets?”

Brennen shrugged, “Uh... I uh... didn’t know what you were comfortable with?” He could feel heat in his cheeks.

He heard an exasperated noise from Colby, “Get in here, dude.” Brennen laughed nervously, but nonetheless climbed under the blanket before he curled around Colby again. “Oh, you took your shirt off,” Colby commented, snuggling in closer. “And that’s totally okay,” He assured Brennen, seeming to almost anticipate the panic.

Brennen chuckled, wrapping arms around his boyfriend. “Fuck, dude, sometimes I swear you read my mind.”

”I’ve gotten a lot better at non-verbals,” Colby explained, “And uh... I felt you tense up.”

”Whoops,” Brennen said, laughing abashedly. “I uh... fuck, I just don’t wanna fuck this up.”

Colby scoffed, “Let’s be realistic,” He said, “If anyone’s gonna fuck up this relationship it’s going to be me.”

 _What?_ Brennen’s eyebrows pinched together. “What makes you say that?”

But Colby had already shaken his head, sighing. “Sorry, that was uh... uncalled for,” He apologized. “Dark shit. I’m trying hard not to do that anymore.”

And then Brennen realized what he had meant. And he bit back anything negative, the initial pain that moved through him, whispering instead, “I love you,” And kissing the back of Colby’s neck gently.

He heard the quiet laugh from Colby, and then his boyfriend was twisting around in his arms and kissing Brennen. Brennen leaned into the kiss, happy to enjoy this soft, intimate moment with Colby, curled up in bed with him. 

But it didn't stay soft for long, as Colby started to kiss him with an intensity he didn’t expect. He hummed quietly, his arms coming to wrap around Colby's back, and Colby seemed to take that as some sort of permission to continue. Colby pushed him onto his back, climbing almost on top of him to kiss him heavily, one hand on his chest and the other supporting his weight on the bed next to Brennen’s head. Brennen’s arms came up around Colby, holding Colby back and against him, one hand up around his shoulders, one gripping into his lower back.

And Brennen was down to keep it PG, but Colby shifted more on top of him, grinding his already hardening cock into Brennen’s and he gasped into the kiss, his hands tightening on Colby’s back. He heard Colby’s little hum of pleasure, grinding again, and Brennen heard the way his breathing changed again, getting deeper and louder, and fuck that was a hot sound.

”Colby...” Brennen rasped against Colby’s lips as he broke the kiss, and then Colby’s lips and tongue were on Brennen’s throat, and Brennen lost track of his thoughts for a moment as the sensations zinged down his spine. “Fuck, Colby...” His hands wandered down to Colby’s hips, wanting to grab into his ass but not knowing if he had permission, if Colby was okay with it.

Colby made some kind of noise, before he reached back and pushed one of Brennen’s hands down over his ass and that was when Brennen made the very happy discovery that Colby was only wearing a pair of boxer briefs. “You can touch,” He growled, nipping into Brennen’s shoulder.

”Oh fuck... okay...” Brennen breathed, moving both hands down to grip the muscles that he could feel contracting and moving as Colby moved against him, gripping in and pulling down. Colby gasped in something high pitched and Brennen immediately repeated the action.

Colby gasped again, pushing himself up so that his hips were still pressed to Brennen’s but his chest was elevated, changing the angle of the pressure on both their cocks and giving Brennen a wonderful opportunity to reach for Colby’s chest. “Why the fuck are you still wearing _pants_...?” The last word trailed off on a breathy exhale as Brennen’s fingers contacted one of his nipples. “Fuck, Brennen...”

And something in Brennen's chest clenched up at the idea of being more naked in front of Colby, which was fucking stupid because Colby was blind and wouldn't be able to see anything anyway... But he started a swiping motion over the sensitive skin, not answering, not sure what to do about the emotions slowly rising in his chest. Colby’s hips juddered again, a moan rolling out of him at the stimulation. “Brennen, I... fuck, dude,” Colby lowered his head, gasping against the sensations of Brennen grinding into him, “Pants, off.”

”Uh...” And Brennen thought he was okay with that, was almost positive, but for some reason he froze up, unable to take his hands off of Colby to try to get himself undressed. Fuck, how many times had he heard that? The demand he take his pants off, but he’d never... fuck, as intimate and in as many positions as he had been with girls he’d never done this with a guy, and this wasn’t just any guy, some experiment, with whom it wouldn't matter. This was Colby, who he loved so _fucking_ much and this... this was all getting very _much_ in his head. “Uh...”

And then Colby had picked up on his hesitance, slowing his body movements. “You okay, dude?” He asked quietly, his eyes opening, one hand moving to Brennen’s face.

And Brennen leaned into the hand subconsciously, as he swallowed, noting the way his heart was racing with anxiety and not anticipation. He exhaled tightly, before admitting with no small amount of embarrassment, “I think I need to slow down a bit...”

And Colby stopped moving almost instantly, concern growing across his face. “What’s up?”

”Just uh... too much, and I haven’t... I haven’t...” Fuck, and now he felt stupid, because Colby was enjoying this and he’d been sexual with people before and Colby had already fucking had his dick in his mouth and why was he freaking out over this...?

And his breathing had changed and Colby had noticed. ”Dude, hey, Brennen, dude, breathe,” Colby’d gotten both hands on his face now, pressing his face closer to Brennen’s, “Hey, dude, what’s going on? Talk to me.”

”Fuck, sorry,” Brennen apologized quickly, “I’m sorry, I just...” And fuck, he’s embarrassed because this was fucking stupid and why was he having a problem? This was Colby, he wanted Colby, had wanted him so bad for so long but something in his mind was just sticking, not letting him proceed...

Colby gave him a quick kiss before he started to climb off of him and Brennen’s hands tightened on his hips, momentarily terrified that Colby was going to get up and _leave_ but Colby said, “Hey, I’m just adjusting, you’re fine...” And curled into his side, resting his head on the pillow next to Brennen’s. He reached for Brennen's face, stroking it gently. “Hey, dude, it’s okay. Breathe, we don’t have to do this right now.”

And for some reason that triggered some sort of hysterical giggle from Brennen’s lungs and he pressed a hand into his face “Fuck, dude, I’m sorry, I don’t know why I’m freaking out.”

He felt Colby shrug against him. “It’s fine, dude. I promise, it’s totally fine.” He kissed Brennen again, longer but still chaste. Comforting. Promising that he was still here. “Don’t even worry about it.”

“It’s fucking stupid...”

”No it’s not,” Colby insisted, drawing Brennen’s face back to look at his. “Dude, look at me.” And Brennen looked at Colby, and Colby’s eyes, even though they weren’t seeing Brennen, were calm, not at all disappointed. "I'm here, you're okay, and I need you to breathe," Colby said quietly, firmly. Brennen forced himself to listen to his boyfriend; to close his eyes, take a breath, and and just... _breathe..._

He slowly felt his heart abate its panicked sprint, the death grip that had been around his lungs relax. He was here, Colby was here. It was okay... When he opened his eyes, Colby was still there, still touching his face and his chest, and he chuckled nervously. “Hey.” 

”Hey,” Colby grinned at him, kissing him again. “You doing okay?”

Brennen groaned, “Fuck, I’m sorry I freaked out on you. Over sex. That’s uh... kinda embarrassing.”

Colby just shrugged, not seeing too bothered. “I’m just fuckin’ glad it wasn’t me this time,” He said jokingly, and Brennen chuckled a little bit at the statement. Fuck knew he’d certainly talked Colby down from his fair share of panic attacks over the past few months. “But seriously,” He continued, “Not a problem, dude. I uh... I forgot you haven’t done this before.”

Brennen rolled his eyes at himself, because he was slowly realizing that he hadn’t just panicked about going further with Colby he’d panicked about panicking. And that was just stupid. “It’s fucking stupid, I’ve had sex with how many people and then I’m freaking out.”

”No, it’s not,” Colby insisted calmly, kissing his shoulder softly. “I uh... I definitely freaked out the first time with a guy too.”

“You did?” Brennen asked, and Colby nodded.

”Fuck, yeah. There was like a whole new dick I wasn’t used to dealing with,” Brennen grinned at Colby’s words as he continued, “And then when I bottomed for the first time and really liked it...” He laughed, “Dude, I had a fucking crisis.”

”Oh,” Brennen said, realizing his hand had been haphazardly tracing patterns on Colby’s side. He took in Colby’s words, feeling something _super_ interesting in his gut at the idea of Colby bottoming, but still trying to quantify why there was still a hold up in his brain. “But like...” Because he still felt like he needed to clarify, ”It’s not even because it’s the first time with a dude, ‘cause like, if I could just fuck around and it didn’t matter I’d probably be fine but because it’s you and I don’t...” He sighed, closing his eyes. “I don’t want to fuck this up.”

And when he opened his eyes, Colby’s smile was soft. “I love you,” He said quietly.

”I love you too,” Brennen answered, bringing Colby’s face over the last few inches so that he could kiss him again, feeling the soft smile against his lips. Of course Colby would be okay with taking it slow and taking time. Brennen would have done the same thing in his position. So why did he feel so weird being in this position?

 _Probably because you’ve never needed to slow down before,_ a little voice in his head reminded him, and he sighed. The voice wasn’t wrong. He’d never been shy about sexual stuff before. This was a very _interesting_ change. He tried to distract from the previous conversation, asking Colby, “So who uh... who did you do this with the first time?”

Colby leaned back into the pillow, a pensive look on his face. “His name was Josh,” He said, and he smiled. “He was uh... he was really chill.”

 _Josh, huh?_ ”Where’s he at now?” Brennen asked, feeling the tiniest bit of jealousy at the way that Colby talked about this unknown guy. They’d clearly been close. He’d fucked Colby for the first time after all.

Colby shrugged, “Traveling the world with his band,” He answered, “They made it big a few months after we started messing around. We still text sometimes. He’s got a boyfriend now and they’re happy.”

 _Oh thank God..._ ”I’m sorry,” Brennen said quietly, feeling like that was what he was supposed to say, but Colby shook his head.

”Nah, it’s good,” Colby said, “I’m not bitter. It was never like, like that, with us. We were friends, we fucked... and that was about it.” He made a soft noise, “Ya know, I don’t think I’ve told him about the blind thing yet. I should probably text him.”

Brennen winced. “Does he follow your social media? He probably knows.”

Colby shrugged again. “Maybe. I feel like he would have reached out, though?”

Brennen pulled Colby into him again, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. Because Colby was his now, and whoever this Josh guy was... he was out of Colby’s life now. Being jealous was stupid. “How did you two meet?” He asked, kinda curious. They didn’t run with too many people who weren’t straight.

Colby chuckled, “That’s a hell of a story there, dude.”

”Tell me.” And Brennen leaned forward and pecked Colby on the lips. He heard the startled laugh, but Colby started talking anyway.

”So... I may or may not have gotten drugged at a bar...”

”You did what!”

”I was okay, Josh helped me out...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had no idea where this was going when I wrote it, but I like it.
> 
> Would anyone be interested in Colby and Josh's story? I kinda have this whole thing planned out and will probably write it anyway (just like a chapter of it).
> 
> Any other missing moments? Blind Spots, if you will?
> 
> Uh... that's all I have to say.
> 
> Sex is coming. Promise.


	5. A Day in the Life

“So I had an idea,” Brennen said, breaking from Colby’s welcome and good morning kiss.

Colby’s face looked amused, and it was an endearing combination with his sleep tousled hair and pajama pants. “Is this where you’re going to explain why you’re here at nine in the morning?” He asked, and Brennen chuckled.

“I can’t just want early morning kisses from my boyfriend?”

“They’re much better when we wake up naked together,” Colby pointed out, yawning. “And I don’t have to get out of bed before nine on a Saturday.”

“I mean, truth,” Brennen agreed, “But no, so like, I had a video idea.”

It was a little over seven months since Colby had lost his sight. He and Brennen were more than happy, and things were finally starting to get back to normal. At least, settle into a new normal.

They still weren’t out on camera yet, but that was a mutual decision by both of them. They wanted to enjoy the privacy that came from the fans not knowing for a little bit longer. As they were together more often, they were filming together more often again. The shippers were ecstatic about the increased “Brolby” content, not knowing that it was actually real.

They were both okay with that.

“Video idea?” Colby asked, not worried yet, just curiosity in his voice.

“Yeah,” Brennen nodded, feeling his heart catch just a little bit because he wasn’t exactly sure how Colby was going to take this. Because he'd had this idea for a while but he hadn't yet gotten up the balls to ask Colby about it. “So… I was thinking we could do like, a day in the life video?” Understanding started passing over Colby’s face as Brennen continued, “Like, I wear a blindfold and you take me through your day.”

A strange look settled on Colby’s face, and he looked down. “Oh,” He said simply.

“Is that… is that okay?” Brennen asked, because he hadn’t known how Colby was going to take this. Didn’t know if they were still too close to the start of everything or if this was going to be some sort of a trigger.

But when Colby looked back up at Brennen, there was determination in his eyes, “Yeah. I’m down. Sounds like a cool idea.”

“You’re sure?” Brennen asked, taking Colby’s hands and holding them. “You totally don’t have to if it’s going to be like… triggering or something.”

Colby chuckled a little bit, “Not triggering, just…” He shrugged, “It’ll be interesting.” And there was a tone in his voice that hinted that there was more than he was saying, but he didn’t elaborate. “What was your plan?”

And that was how Brennen found himself sitting on Colby’s bed, Colby sitting next to him and Brennen’s brother pointing a camera at both of them. Colby had reasoned that it would probably be easier if someone else filmed, given that neither of them would be able to aim a lens very well for a vlog style video. Jake was free, so Brennen had him come over.

“And you’re sure,” Brennen checked with his boyfriend one more time. “You don’t mind doing this video?”

And Colby shook his head lightly, “Nah, dude, I’m fine.” He smiled a little. “This is going to be interesting.”

“Alright,” Brennen said, pulling Colby into him to kiss him one more time before the video started. When he let Colby go, he was grinning. “Let’s do this.”

“Ready?” Jake asked behind the camera.

“Ready,” Brennen confirmed, and he watched Jake flip the record button and Brennen launched into his intro. “What’s up guys? Welcome back to my channel and welcome back to another video.” He wrapped his arms around Colby in a playful way, “Today I have my best friend Colby Brock with me-”

“Yo!”

“And today we’re doing something really cool, right Colby?” He released his hug on Colby, wide camera grin mirroring Colby’s.

“It’s gonna be really interesting,” Colby said, half a laugh in his voice.

Brennen prefaced, “So as many of you guys know, Colby went blind about seven months ago and since then he’s been living without sight,” Brennen explained, and he tried to keep that sentence high energy but some of the lingering emotions still clenched at his heart.

“Yup,” Colby agreed, knocking against Brennen as if able to sense the emotions roiling in his chest. “And it’s been a _freaking process_ and if you want to see more about that you can check out my channel in the links below.” He pointed downwards.

“Go check out my boy’s videos, they’re super interesting,” Brennen said, not missing the briefly pleased look that crossed over Colby's face at Brennen's phrase 'my boy'. “But today,” Brennen continued, “I thought it would be interesting to try to live a day in the life of Colby Brock. So…” He pulled the sleeping mask he’d bought into frame, “I’m going to be wearing this blindfold, and Colby’s going to show me how he lives his life on an average Saturday.”

“A Saturday when Brennen didn’t show up at my apartment and wake me up at nine-o-clock in the morning for a video,” Colby said jokingly, shooting a look of pretend irritation at Brennen.

“You know you love me.”

“You’re fucking lucky I do,” Colby rolled his eyes. But there was no real bite in his voice. Brennen knew Colby loved him just as much as he loved Colby.

More than the camera knew.

“Okay, well, since we’ve explained everything let’s get this video started, huh?” Brennen asked, catching one last affectionate look from Colby before he pulled the blindfold over his eyes.

The darkness of his vision was almost complete, save the tiny pinpricks of light at the bridge of his nose. And as excited as he was for this video, a tiny bit of trepidation stole across his heart, because his goal was to not take this blindfold off all day. No matter what happened.

Colby hadn’t been able to, after all.

“So what’s first on the agenda, dude?” Brennen asked, resting his hands behind him and leaning back into them.

“Well, I don’t know what you do when you first get up,” Colby started, “But I get up and I brush my teeth.” He felt Colby’s weight leave him on the bed, and listened to Colby take a few steps away from him.

“Okay, so we’re going to the bathroom,” Brennen narrated, sitting up and standing at the bedside. He knew vaguely where Colby’s bathroom was, knew Colby could completely navigate around his apartment without _looking_ blind, but all of the sudden Brennen was _very_ aware that he couldn’t see. “Okay, I think it’s this way?”

He held his hands out in front of him, trying to feel for any walls or obstacles that might be in his way. “I do have a bit of an advantage, because this is my apartment,” Colby pointed out, and Brennen noted where Colby’s voice was coming from, moving more towards him. After a few steps, he felt the door frame to his right, able to move in the correct direction.

Fuck, this was harder than he’d thought.

“Okay, I brought my toothbrush so it should be around here somewhere,” Brennen narrated, feeling across Colby’s counter. It was always organized these days, so he found his toothbrush where he had placed it without too much trouble. “This one is mine?” He just double checked.

“Bro, I hid mine so you wouldn’t accidentally use it,” He heard Colby to his right.

“Dude, you don’t trust me?”

“Absolutely not,” Colby said, chuckling, and Brennen swatted at him, only feeling his hands brush past empty air.

Huh. Colby wasn’t as close as he’d thought.

Teeth brushing was completed without too much fanfare, when Colby announced, “Okay, breakfast time, right?”

“I’m down,” Brennen agreed, hearing Colby’s footsteps move away. He tried to follow them, listening hard and just trying not to slam into anything.

If he made it through the day without slamming into anything he’d consider it a success.

When he heard Colby tracking around in the kitchen, he knew he’d made it out into the common area. “Are you cooking?” He asked, pretty sure he heard Jake in front of him, still filming.

“Yeah,” Colby answered, “Bacon and eggs okay?”

“Isn’t this supposed to be about me living your life?” Brennen asked, "So shouldn't I be cooking?" And that was when he slammed his toe into the couch, “Ow, fuck!”

Colby and Jake laughed. “Dude, you’d set my kitchen on fire,” Colby commented, and he heard plastic packaging opening, “You can get the gist of eating blind without doing the advanced shit like cooking blind.”

“I…” Brennen started to protest, but then he heard the stove start, pictured the open flame, and realized Colby was right, “Okay, yeah, I get your point.”

“Mhmm…” Colby said, and he heard eggs cracking. “Just sit down at the counter, I’ll take care of this.” And as Brennen fumbled his way over to the counter, he was filled with newfound appreciation for how much Colby had really adjusted to this change in his life, and how hard it must have been.

Brennen couldn’t even begin to imagine cooking blindfolded. Colby was right. He’d set himself or the kitchen on fire.

“Dude, that’s so cool,” He heard Jake remark, and he realized Jake had moved into the kitchen without him noticing. “Like I know you can’t see but like, you’re cooking like you can.”

Colby’s voice was nonchalant when he replied, and Brennen could imagine he shrugged, “I had to get used to it,” He said honestly, and Brennen nodded.

Fuck, he already wanted to see Colby’s face, already wanted to pull the blindfold off.

But that wasn’t why he was doing this.

Breakfast proceeded relatively easily once Colby told him where the food was on his plate. And wasn’t that a role-reversal? Usually when they were out in public it was Brennen explaining to _Colby_ where everything was. And eating without sight… it was something that probably shouldn’t feel so weird. He mentally knew where his mouth and his fork were, but it was still weird to try to put food in his mouth without being able to see it.

Luckily, the taste of the food gave him a good incentive to not miss. “That shit was good,” Brennen complimented his boyfriend, leaning back and stretching out his arms. “So what’s next on the agenda?”

Colby hummed before continuing, “Well, that depends on how hardcore you want to be,” Colby answered, and Brennen could tell from the sound of his voice that Colby was at least vaguely facing him.

That had been a new discovery. He hadn’t realized his ears could pick up on that subtlety. And if Brennen’s untrained ears could keep track of it, he couldn’t imagine how much information Colby’s could get from the world.

“Super hardcore,” Brennen answered instantly, because that sounded like a challenge, and Brennen wouldn’t back down from a challenge. "What else?"

“Okay, okay,” Colby said, and Brennen could hear the grin in his voice, “So… I was thinking we could go to the gym, and we could go to the one downstairs, or…” He paused, “We could go to the one down the street.”

“What makes that hardcore?” Jake asked, asking the question on Brennen’s mind.

“Well, I usually walk there,” Colby said, and then it made sense. “So, I guess the question is… do you trust me?” And he heard the challenge in Colby’s voice.

“Yes,” Brennen answered instantly, because of course he did, even as anxiety filled his chest at the idea of blind Colby leading him around blindfolded.

But then, this was just Colby’s life, right? He got around just fine blind. There was no reason for Brennen to freak out. He trusted Colby. Even if he was sure that every instinct was going to be demanding he pull the blindfold off to see what was going on around him.

But Colby couldn’t pull his blindfold off. He’d had to get used to it for seven months now.

Brennen could do one day.

“Okay then,” Colby said, standing up. "Let's go."

And then they were downstairs, Colby leading Brennen out towards the street confidently while Brennen tried to ease his fucking death grip on Colby’s arm. Because he was getting a fucking sense of deja vu, because they’d been here before, months ago, although their roles had been reversed, Colby with the death grip on Brennen's arm. Brennen remembered Colby’s words to him as they walked onto a streetlight lit sidewalk.

_"It’s uh... just kinda scary...”_

Well that was a fucking understatement.

“Dude, I have a new fucking appreciation for when you used to go walking around with me,” Brennen said to Colby quietly, feeling the warmth of the LA sun on his body, knowing they had stepped outside. “This is… this is fucking scary.”

He heard an exhale from Colby, “I know,” Colby said, “It was uh… it was a lot when I wasn't used to it…”

“Shit…” Brennen muttered, “Fucking… fucking props to you, dude. I like…” And he cut off his words,realizing what he had been about to say and knowing that he needed to not fucking say them. Because they reminded him so much of the words that he had heard from Colby over the months he was getting accustomed to his blindness.

_“I just want to open my eyes, Brennen…”_

_”I just want to see...“_

Because Brennen just wanted to pull the blindfold off, take back that control and ability to see his fucking surroundings.

And he’d only been wearing it for maybe an hour.

 _Fuck…_

“So… how are you keeping track of where we are?” Brennen asked, because he was already hopelessly confused without his sight to orient him.

Colby didn’t respond for a moment, and Brennen wasn’t sure he had heard him, but then he started talking, and Brennen realized he had probably just been thinking. “So I have like this mental map, right?” He said, “Of like, all the places around my apartment that I like to go. And like, how many blocks in each direction each thing is and like, little landmarks along the way.”

“Landmarks?” Brennen asked, because the mental map made sense, but how did landmarks work without vision?

“Like... so uh, okay, so I can kinda hear when we walk past trees and shit between us and the road?” Colby explained, and that just confused Brennen, “Because cars make sound, right? But I can hear when there’s something between me and the car driving by, because it kinda blocks the sound, right? And that makes a different sound."

"... what?"

"It's like uh..." Colby paused, "Uh... so like… listen, okay?” 

And Brennen listened, trying to pick out what Colby was talking about. He tried to focus on all the sounds around him, the occasional passerby, birds chirping, cars driving, Colby’s cane sliding along on the concrete. “So like, we just walked by something, I’m pretty sure this one is a palm tree,” Colby said, and Brennen shook his head, hopelessly confused.

“How did you know that?” Jake asked, and Brennen jumped a little bit, because he had almost forgotten his brother was there filming with everything else he had been focusing on.

“Okay, so like, listen to the car drive by,” Colby instructed, pausing their walk, and Brennen listened. He heard the sound of the car engine as it approached and then drove past. “Okay, now stand here and listen to the cars moving by.” And Brennen strained his ears to hear what Colby was talking about.

And it was very subtle, but if he stood right next to the palm tree and stepped in front of or behind it, he thought he could hear what Colby was talking about. The sound from traffic was just a little bit different when the tree was between him and the street.

It was something he almost definitely would not have picked up on if Colby hadn't pointed it out. “Shit…” Brennen said, feeling the grin stretch across his face, “That’s really fucking cool.”

“I know, right?” And there was a grin in Colby’s voice too, “Plus, on windier days, you can hear the leaves move. I can hear them today, but I also know what to listen for.” Brennen focused, and he thought he might _just_ be able to hear the rustling Colby was talking about.

“That’s really fucking cool,” Brennen said again, following Colby’s lead as he started walking again.

“This is the sort of stuff that the agency trained me to look for in my Orientation and Mobility training,” Colby explained as they walked again, “Because you can like, understand so much just by knowing what to listen for. Like here,” Colby stopped them, “We’re at a crosswalk. Can you hear my cane moving over the bumps on the ramp thing?” And listening to the scraping, Brennen could. “I can also feel it, obviously,” Colby said, “And that lets me know I need to pay attention here because I don’t want to walk into traffic.” Brennen heard his cane sweep out again, heard it impact something, “Okay, there’s the crosswalk button.” And he pulled Brennen over. 

There was a beep as Colby probably pressed the crossing button. “This one beeps when it’s safe to cross, but I’m still going to listen and make sure that there isn’t any sort of jackass who ignores traffic signals.” And there was bitterness in his voice, and Brennen remembered that that was the whole reason Colby had gone blind in the first place.

Some jackass ignoring traffic signals.

They’d never found out who it was, and Brennen knew that was a loose end that would forever haunt him and Colby.

So Brennen squeezed Colby’s arm gently, murmuring so the camera couldn’t hear him, “I love you.”

“Love you too,” Colby responded quietly, and then they heard another beeping noise and Colby paused for a moment, probably listening, before stepping forward, “Okay, let’s go.”

And as they walked Colby pointed out more landmarks he used for orientation during his walk to the gym; the smell of a Greek cafe, the music of a tattoo shop, his cane sliding over a brick sidewalk, all things that Brennen may or may not have taken note of if he could see.

But these non-visual landmarks were all that Colby had to go off of, and so Brennen tried to pay attention to this non-visual world that his boyfriend lived in.

And fuck did he have a newfound respect for everything Colby had had to learn to adapt.

“Okay, I think we’re here,” Colby said, steering Brennen to the left and Brennen could feel that they’d stepped into the shade before Colby stopped walking and he heard a door open.

They were greeted almost immediately, “Hey Colby,” an unfamiliar voice called out.

But Colby seemed to know it, “Hey, Dan,” He said. “How’s it going?”

“Goin’ good, goin’ good,” The man, Dan, answered, “Whatcha got there?”

“Brennen’s filming a video,” Colby explained, chuckling a little bit, “He’s trying to do a day blind.”

“That’s pretty cool,” Dan acknowledged. “How’s it going?”

Brennen chuckled, following Colby’s lead as they approached where Brennen had heard Dan speaking, probably the front counter. “It’s fuckin’ intense,” He said honestly. “I have a new respect for this guy getting around on his own.”

And he wished he could have seen Colby’s face when he said that, feeling Colby instead press into him for just a moment. “It just takes practice,” Colby tried to downplay Brennen’s words by Brennen wouldn’t let him.

“You just walked like, what? Half a mile blind and didn’t get us killed?” Brennen asked. “That’s impressive, dude.”

He heard the laugh. “Thanks, Brennen,” Colby said, and Brennen wanted to kiss Colby there. But they weren’t out just yet so he probably shouldn’t do that.

Yet.

“Alright, well, you guys have fun and let me know if you need anything,” Dan said, and Colby started walking again, Brennen following him into the gym.

And they didn’t really get a real workout in. Brennen was still just a little too overwhelmed by trying to do everything blind. Colby did his best to help him with the equipment, but Brennen called it quits after about an hour of trying to use the equipment and not hurt himself or anyone else.

“Dude, how do you usually do this alone?” Brennen asked honestly, because even Colby wasn’t really trying to work out, mostly just putting Brennen on machines to see what happened.

And now he was sweating under the blindfold and he really wanted to take it off.

“If I’m here alone usually Dan helps me out with stuff,” Colby explained, “Hold out your hand.” And he pulled Brennen to his feet off of the bench. “Or this girl named Cindy. Or Sam if he’s here. You’ve done it too.”

“But like…” It was so different being the one who couldn’t see, and Brennen was just wrapping his head around it, even as he knew that Colby already knew that.

It was his life after all.

“Fuck, man, I don’t know how you do it,” He summarized instead.

Colby let out an amused exhale. “I have to,” He said simply, and Brennen knew it was true.

And by the time they were leaving the gym Brennen had had the blindfold on for about three hours and he already wanted it off just to fucking see _something_ … And it wasn’t even in a “I need to see to reorient in my surroundings” sort of feeling, but just his brain only seeing darkness and wanting to see something else other than the vague pinpricks of light at the bridge of his nose.

“Weird personal question,” Brennen asked, holding onto Colby’s arm as they started walking back to Colby’s apartment. Probably. Colby was leading and Brennen really had no idea where they were going.

“Yeah?”

“So like…” And he had started the question in his mind but he had no idea how to say it. “I feel like… like I want to like… fuck, and smack me if this is too much but like, I feel like my brain wants to see something.”

And thankfully, Colby seemed to know what he meant. “I get that,” Colby said, “I uh… I actually talked to Molly about that one time. Because like… our brains are hardwired to see and want to see so like… when they can’t…” He sighed, “So like, that’s why I always have the lights on when it’s dark out and I’m in the apartment, because it’s the only thing I can see, you know? So I need to be able to see it, even though I don’t really need the light to navigate…” Brennen could feel Colby shrug where he held Colby’s arm, “It just makes my brain like, happy, to see _something_ …”

And Brennen nodded, because he knew that, knew that Colby only turned his lights out when he was going to sleep, and otherwise kept lights on and windows open.

And Brennen could apologize for asking, but not only would it not matter, but it wasn’t really necessary.

Colby couldn’t see. Colby would never see in the traditional sense again. But he was doing okay with it now, and Brennen knew he wasn’t asking for apologies. They were past that point.

Colby led them back to the apartment without further incident, crossing at crosswalks and avoiding colliding with anything. The topics shifted to lighter matters, and they were joking in a manner typical to their usual banter before too long. And though he trusted Colby irrevocably, Brennen was still relieved when they stepped back inside Colby’s apartment, a location that he knew and could picture every aspect without seeing it, once again remembering Colby’s relief at the same thing months ago.

God, how far he had come.

“That was really fucking cool,” Jake said, following the two into the apartment. “Like, not gonna lie, I thought I was going to have to like step in and help but… shit, Colby, you’ve got this.”

“Of course I fucking do,” Colby said, a grin in his voice, “I’ve been doing this for what? Seven months now?” And Brennen heard him hang up his cane and move to flop down on his couch. Brennen followed him more hesitantly, feeling for the couch before sitting down where he was pretty sure Colby was. In private now and knowing the camera was off, Colby reached for Brennen, pulling him against his chest and kissing his cheek. “So what’s your plan now?” Colby asked, and Brennen heard Jake move in the common area, a noise that he was pretty sure was Jake setting the camera down.

“Uh…” Brennen thought, “I uh… we could do the outtro. Unless you had another idea for something to do?”

He felt Colby shrug, “The only other thing I could think of is eating in public, like at a restaurant where we don’t know the menu, because having someone read the menu to you is something I have to deal with, but like… Not sure I’m in the mood for that right now.”

“Yeah, I feel you there, bro,” Brennen agreed, not sure how he felt about wearing the blindfold for much longer. It had been what? Almost four hours? More? He wasn’t really sure. He heard Colby’s phone talking, although it still talked too fast for Brennen to really make out what it was saying. Colby had turned the speed up since he had started using Voiceover, and Brennen admired the hell out of his boyfriend for it. He was pretty much back to using his phone and social media like usual, which Brennen knew was a huge relief for everyone.

“We could film the outtro and just add in footage if we think of it later?” Colby offered, and Brennen agreed with him.

“Good idea, babe.”

“I’ll get the camera,” Jake said, and Brennen heard him stand up and move back to the kitchen. “I gotta leave soon anyway. Got a hot date,” Brennen could hear the fucking wink in his voice.

“You and mom having dinner tonight?” Brennen teased.

“Haha, very funny,” Jake snarked back, and Brennen could hear him fidgeting with the camera and tripod, setting them up in front of Colby and Brennen. “Okay, ready to go when you guys are.”

And then the camera was on and so were Colby and Brennen. Brennen started. “Alright, well, it’s been four hours…”

“Almost five,” Colby added.

“Almost five,” Brennen agreed, because wow, really? “Since we started this and we’re back at the apartment, Jake has to go, he’s having dinner with Mom, so that’s the end of this experiment.” He hesitated for the briefest of seconds as he touched the blindfold, feeling Colby’s warmth brushing platonically against him.

Because Colby couldn’t take his blindfold off.

But Brennen could.

But Colby had said that he was okay with this video, and it wasn’t like Brennen could do anything about it, so he pulled the sleeping mask off, blinking rapidly and squinting at the rapid change in light level. “Holy fuck, it’s bright in here.”

“Windows stay open,” Colby was looking at him, at least, vaguely in his direction, and there was a soft smile on his face. “Sorry, the blind guy likes light.” His voice was joking, but it harkened back to their earlier conversation.

Brennen shrugged, turning back to the camera, “Alright everybody, thank you so much for watching this little experiment, day in the life kinda thing, and thank you to Colby for showing me a little bit of his world and uh, also not getting me killed.”

Colby grinned, “No problem, bro. What’d you think?”

And Brennen didn’t know how to answer that question. Because on camera and off camera would be two different answers. Because he could talk about what he’d learned about his own senses, and how Colby saw the world, but also could understand just a little bit more how Colby had felt in those first few days after he went blind. And he couldn’t recall back later what he said, but it was something for the camera, something light and not heavy, and he and Colby wrapped up the recording with good humor and easy friendship.

And then Jake had left, and the TV was on, and Colby was curled into his chest, and he tried to answer the question again.

“I didn’t realize how hard those first few days were for you.”

And Colby’s brow furrowed, and his body stiffened, and he asked, “What?”

“Like… when you first went blind…” Brennen tried again, not sure if he was digging himself into a hole or not. “You kept like, telling me that you wanted to see and like, just wanted to open your eyes and like…” He felt his grip on Colby’s shoulder tighten, his hand resting on Colby’s thigh gripping tighter. “Like, I’ve been blindfolded before but it was only for like, a few minutes at a time and just… not seeing for hours…” Colby was silent, and so Brennen kept talking, “Like, I just wanted to take it off. There were so many times when I just wanted to _see_ what was going on physically but I had the blindfold on and I wasn’t supposed to take it off and that was only five hours and I know it doesn’t even _compare_ to what you went through but like…” 

He swallowed down the emotions surging up in his throat. “I just… I feel like I get it, just a little bit more, what you went through, because like, I always knew I could take the blindfold off, if it ever got to be too much, I could just take it off, and I could see again, but then I thought about you, and how you don’t fucking have that option and I just…”

And then his voice cracked with emotion and then Colby was kissing him, both hands weaving up and into his hair and kissing him hard. Brennen gripped him back tightly, hands sliding up Colby’s shirt to grip into his back. And when they broke to breathe, Colby burrowing his face into Brennen’s shoulder Brennen breathed… “Fuck, Colby, I just… I’m so fucking sorry.”

“Why?” Colby asked, “You didn’t make me blind.” And there was teasing in his voice, a tell for Brennen to not take this so seriously.

“Yeah, but…”

“Dude,” Colby pulled back from the hug, kissing Brennen quiet again and cupping his face with both his hands, before pulling back and saying, “Look at me? Please?”

And Brennen swallowed down the tears that wanted to come, the sob that was sitting in his throat, at this fucking thing that Colby had gone through, but when he looked at Colby there was a faint smile on his boyfriend’s face.

“Look,” Colby started, “I know this is like, gonna be hard to believe but like… you don’t have to feel bad about this, okay? I’m really fine. Most days, I’m completely okay.”

And Brennen shook his head faintly, because he felt like Colby didn’t get it, didn’t get why he was freaking out, that Brennen couldn’t even imagine keeping that blindfold on for longer let alone never being able to take it off. “But…”

“Brennen, dude, please…” Colby cut him off again. “I…” He closed his eyes for a moment before reopening them. “It’s okay, okay? I understand where you’re coming from, because I was uh…" His voice dropped and so did his eyes, "I was really fucked up. For a while. I mean, you were there.”

And Brennen nodded, remembering the times when he hadn’t known if Colby would be there when he came over the next day, or if he’d only find a body.

“But like now, seriously…” Colby kissed him gently again, “I’m okay. I’ve accepted it. And some days are harder than others but like… I’m blind, and I’m mostly okay with that. I got through it, and I’m making it work for me and my life.” He kissed Brennen again. “I don’t need you to cry for me. I’ve cried enough for the both of us.” A loving smile painted his lips.

Brennen nodded faintly. Because he wasn’t wrong. “I just... “

“Brennen, bro…” Colby kissed him again, and it was a long, lingering kiss, full of love and assurance and affection, “I’m okay. Okay?”

“Okay…” Brennen said quietly, pulling Colby back in for a hug. And Colby was warm and solid and here, still kicking ass despite everything, and he loved him. And Colby was blind, but that was okay.

Everything was okay now.

And Brennen was so glad that he had filmed this video today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was just a fun idea that I had. I wanted Brennen to get a better idea of Colby's life and experiences so this kinda came out all at once. Written in an afternoon so don't mind the typos. I'll fix them as I find them. 
> 
> Hope you guys enjoyed, let me know what you think, and I'll see you in the next one.


	6. Seeing You

Colby was absentmindedly tracing his face.

And it wasn’t the first time he had done it. Colby often idly traced his fingertips over Brennen, “looking at him” casually in the same way that Brennen did with his eyes. Because really, his hands were his eyes. And it had taken a while to unpair the light, casual touches with sexual thoughts, but Brennen had done it over the months they’d been dating. Colby had always been a tactile person. It wasn’t surprising that that had increased in the aftermath of losing his sight.

But somehow this time felt different.

They were cuddled up on the couch, listening to an audiobook while Brennen laid in Colby’s lap, both of them wrapped up in a blanket. Colby had started tracing his face mostly absentmindedly, but then it had shifted. And Brennen didn’t know how to describe the shift except that Colby’s fingers were much more _deliberate_. They slowly traced over every inch of the skin on his face, from his forehead, over his eyes, across his cheekbones and along his jaw. Brennen kissed the tips of his fingers when they traced over his lips, and he opened his eyes to see Colby’s soft smile.

Along with a worrying look in his eyes. Colby was thinking about something. And something heavy by the looks of it. “Whatcha thinkin’ about?” Brennen asked idly, inviting Colby to share what was going on in his head, but not forcing him. He reached his hand up to swipe hair away from Colby’s face so he could see Colby’s gorgeous eyes. And face. Colby was just pretty all around.

And one thing that hadn’t changed with Colby’s vision loss was that Colby’s face was expressive. And maybe it was just that Colby was more comfortable around Brennen, but he didn’t seem to hide his expression the way he used to. Brennen wasn’t sure if it was because Colby was just being more open around Brennen, or because he had honestly forgotten how much sighted people used facial expressions to communicate. Something to ask him later.

”You,” Colby answered his earlier question, a smile tugging at his lips again.

”What about me?”

Colby paused, his smile faltering for a moment. His actions confirmed Brennen's theory. Yup, this was heavy. He pursed his lips, eyes moving back and forth, before he said, “It’s kinda dark. You in the mood for that?”

And Brennen touched Colby’s hand on his face lightly, pressing it to his lips so that he could kiss Colby softly. “What’s up?” He asked, keeping his voice quiet. Because Brennen never wanted Colby to feel like he couldn’t share his thoughts. Dark or not.

He never wanted to go back to radio silence and terrified worry again.

Colby’s face worked for a moment, before he shrugged. “Uh... just thinking about you and uh...” He traced Brennen’s face absently with his free hand. He paused for another moment, and Brennen had only a moment to start to actually worry before Colby continued, “I uh... sometimes I think I’m forgetting what you look like?”

Brennen paused, his heart clenching just a little bit. “Yeah?” He asked.

”Yeah...” Colby confirmed, not even trying to fake looking at Brennen as he focused on his fingers, still mapping out the skin under them. “Like... I haven’t _seen_ you, obviously, in like almost a year and like...” His brow furrowed. “I’m losing faces, I think. Like... everything’s...” He shrugged again, “Like I feel like I can’t remember what you, or Sam, or my _parents_ look like like... I remember like _facts_ about your appearance but the actual mental image... fuck...” He laughed and there was some wetness in his voice. “Like... its not really a big deal because it’s not like I _need_ to remember what you look like but...” His hands paused in their tracing. “Still feels like I’ve lost something.”

 _Ow..._ Brennen's heart hurt at the admission. Because he hadn’t considered that this could happen and then... how it would affect him. He felt it deep in his chest, almost a fucking devastation. And if it was hitting Brennen like this... he couldn't even imagine how Colby must be feeling. Brennen swallowed down the emotions in his throat. “Dude...” He murmured apologetically.

”I mean, it is what it is,” Colby shrugged, and Brennen could see him struggling to keep a check on his emotions. “I just...” He paused, and Brennen waited while he gathered his thoughts... and his resolve. “Like... I didn’t think that I’d forget that kinda stuff...” Colby said faintly, and then he laughed humorlessly, “Just... you know..." His throat worked as he sat on the words. "Makes me wish I had actually _seen_ you one more time before I went blind.” And he was trying to keep it together, but Brennen heard the sob break through his words.

_God..._

”Babe...” Brennen murmured, twisting around and wrapping his arms around his boyfriend. Colby laughed joylessly, and Brennen swallowed down his own emotions.

Because Colby was blind. And most days it was fine, and it didn’t really affect him anymore.

But today was going to be one of those days that didn’t fall in with “most”.

“You remember facts?” Brennen probed, trying to picture what Colby was talking about.

Colby nodded against his shoulder, “Like... like I remember you have dark hair, and, and tan skin and green eyes but like... I’m having a harder time associating those those facts with an image. And its Sam too, and it all just kinda hit me the other day because I was hanging out with Sam and he mentioned that his hair was getting darker and I...” He paused. “I just realized I’m always going to have this outdated image of him in my head, with his fuckin’ chinstrap...” Colby chuckled a little bit. “Because I don’t really have a way to update that image, you know? He’ll... he’ll always look twenty-three in my head. And like... how long until I lose that too?”

”Colby...” Brennen rubbed his back. He didn't know what to say, so he settled on, “It’ll be okay, man,” wishing he had something better.

And Colby just sighed. “I know, dude, I know...” He shuddered a little bit in Brennen's arms and Brennen thought he might have heard a broken inhale. “Just... fuck, every time I think I’m okay with being blind and never seeing again... Something like this comes up.”

And Brennen nodded, not really knowing what to say. Because what would he even say? There was _nothing_ he could do. So he just held Colby, rubbing his back as Colby worked through his emotions. And eventually they got back to the audiobook, even if they elected to cancel their dinner plans and eat in. Because being outside of the apartment right now meant being around people who might not know how to act around Colby, who might freak out and alienate him more once they figured out he was blind. Brennen was kinda going with the assumption that the fewest reminders to Colby that he was blind seemed like the best move. 

Even as Brennen knew that he got a reminder every time he opened his eyes and their message to his brain got stopped before it could be read.

It had been a while since Brennen had gone down a google rabbit hole looking for answers and cures to Colby’s blindness like he had when the accident had just happened. Because as of late, Colby had been doing well. But that night, when they were both fucking around on their phone before bed, Brennen gave into the urge to look down the rabbit hole again.

But of course, the same bullshit “cures” and false hope were all that he found. There was no miracle cure to this. This was just Colby's life now. And Brennen had to remember that he was okay with that, that Colby was okay with it 95% of the time. Remember that this was just who they were now. But when they had sex that night, and Brennen watched Colby watch Brennen’s expression with his fingers as Colby pushed into him, Brennen wished, honestly wished, for the first time in a long time, that Colby could see him.

And it was a couple of days later and completely unrelated when Brennen got a text message from Molly. They'd stayed vaguely in contact after their initial meet up, and Colby and Molly had actually done a few more collabs. Brennen considered them both lucky to have her.

And then he opened his phone to look at the text message and he felt even luckier. It was a link to a video with the message from her reading;

_Check this out. It didn’t work for me because I don’t have depth perception, but it might work for Colby._

And as Brennen watched the video his heart rate kicked up because shit... Molly might be right. And he was going to feel silly as shit, but... well fuck if it would help Colby... there wasn’t much he wouldn’t do.

Because he couldn’t fix Colby’s vision but this... this might be the next best thing.

And that was how Brennen found himself in Colby’s apartment, trying not to move while Devyn stuck sequins to his face. Their faces had already been painted silver, their eyes blacked out, and the sequins were the final touch.

”My face feels fucking weird,” Sam grumbled next to him. “How do you two do this every day?”

”It’s not this thick,” Kat laughed, continuing to stick sequins to Sam’s face, “And I don’t stick a face full of sequins to it.” 

She glanced at Devyn, who nodded her agreement. "Yeah, this is kinda a lot, even for me," Devyn agreed, and Brennen was pretty sure that he was going to pass out from the fumes of the skin glue. “I’m so glad I get to be here for this.”

"Who else were we going to call for makeup?" Kat teased her back, and Devyn blushed even as she grinned. "How are you doing, Brennen?"

"Pretty sure I'm going to pass out from these fumes," Brennen answered sarcastically, and Sam laughed. 

”Oh yeah, for the brain damage I'm probably getting, this had better work,” Sam grumbled good-naturedly, and he grinned when he glanced at Brennen out of the corner of his eye.

”Dude, I fuckin’ hope so,” Brennen said, and his voice was more subdued, the mention of brain damage bringing back memories of Colby, fighting back tears in his arms because he was forgetting his loved ones’ faces.

Brennen had watched the video Molly sent him before forwarding it over to Sam. In it, Gabbie Hanna had tried to to take advantage of Molly’s limited light and shadow perception and covered her mother and best friend’s faces in reflective things with the hope that Molly would be able to see her loved ones’ faces if they were covered in glitter. In the end, it was Molly’s lack of depth perception that made it not work quite as planned, but Colby... Colby still had depth perception.

So this... this might work.

So Sam and Brennen had schemed and now, Colby was out with Jake while Kat and Devyn covered Brennen and Sam’s faces in glitter in the hope that Colby would be able to see them.

And of course, they were filming it, because why not? If Colby wasn’t comfortable with the footage they could scrap it later.

That was... assuming it even _worked_.

”What if it doesn’t work?” Brennen stressed to Sam, standing by the door and waiting for Colby to come in. Jake had texted them that they were headed up. “Or...” And he voiced his more pressing fear, “What if this makes it worse?”

Sam looked absolutely ridiculous, covered in sequins, holding up his phone flashlight to to illuminate them further but then, so did Brennen he was sure, doing the exact same thing. But the ridiculousness of the glitter and sequins didn’t choke out the very real anxiety they were both feeling.

”Then he can laugh at how stupid we look,” Sam reassured him, “Dude... even if it doesn’t work, I know he’ll still appreciate us trying.”

And Brennen nodded, because he knew Sam was right. But he wouldn’t be able to bear if he made everything worse. 

He was just getting his anxiety under control again as he heard the key turn in the lock. "Oh fuck..." Brennen murmured, and then the door was open and Colby lead Jake through the doorway.

"Oh, yeah, by the way, dude? You have company," Jake warned Colby in a very Jake sort of way.

"Dude, what the fuck?" Colby groaned, hanging his cane up by the door, "Is this some sort of..." And Colby may have just absentmindedly been taking in the room, but then Brennen watched Colby's eyes land on him. And it wasn't in a sort of passing way where Brennen knew he was just faking it. No. Colby was actually _looking at him._ And there was some sort of stupid grin on Brennen's face as he swallowed down the unexpected emotions because the camera was on but...

Colby was looking at him. For the first time in almost a year.

Colby was looking him in the eyes.

God dammit he was not going to cry...

"What the fuck?" Colby asked, taking a few steps towards Brennen. Brennen watched his eyes move to take in Sam as well, and he looked absolutely confused, "Are these like... glitter skulls or some shit?"

"What can you see?" Kat asked, and Colby turned his head quickly in her direction.

"Oh, hi Kat."

"Hi!"

"Uh..." Colby took another step towards Brennen, confusion and thoughts passing over his face all at once as he stepped right up to Brennen when... he fucking froze. He blinked a few times, moving his hands up to touch the sequins, fingers landing on Brennen's cheeks, his eyes narrowed and _Colby was looking right in his eyes..._ "Brennen?" Colby asked, and his voice was a mixture of emotions; realization, incredulity, wonder, and something much deeper, much more emotional.

Had Colby... recognized him by look?

"Hey dude," Brennen murmured, and his voice somehow still came out strong despite the emotions trying to choke it back.

Fuck, Colby was _looking_ at him.

Colby blinked a few times, his mouth moving but no words coming out, almost looking like his brain was trying to reboot. "Brennen, you..." And then he laughed, and Brennen couldn't help but smile back at him, "Holy shit, what the fuck did you do?"

"Can you see us?" Sam asked, and that was when Colby seemed to register him, laughing at the sight.

And Colby was grinning, and Brennen totally didn't expect it when he said, "Dude, sequins are not flattering on your fivehead."

"Colby, shut the fuck up."

And then the tension in the air broke, and everyone was laughing, even as Colby tensed a little bit, looking around. "Dude, how many people are in here?"

"It's me and Kat, Brennen, Sam and now you and Jake," Devyn summarized for him, grinning at the group.

"And what... what the fuck do you guys have on your faces?" Colby asked, tracing lightly over Brennen's face again. "Is that fucking glitter?"

"And sequins," Sam added helpfully, "Dude, it was a freaking process to get all of this on."

"Took like two hours," Kat added helpfully.

"And you..." Colby turned back to Jake. "Jake, you were stalling, weren't you?"

Jake shrugged, "Did you really think I took that long to poop?"

"It wouldn't be the first time, dude, I used to live with you," Colby said as Brennen added,

"Dude, you literally destroyed the first floor bathroom in the trap house for like a day."

More laughter, and Jake's face made a "guilty-as-charged" expression as he shrugged again.

But Brennen had more pressing questions than Jake's digestive habits. "Colby... what are you seeing?" And the room fell into quiet again as everyone listened for Colby's response.

Colby frowned, taking a step back and taking in both Sam and Brennen. "You look like... like those Mexican Halloween skull things," He said, squinting. "Like it's really fucking weird, you know? Because like, I'm only seeing the light reflecting off of the sequins..." He looked between Sam and Brennen. "It's like the light is moving in this weirdly like, face shaped blob?"

"Can you tell the difference between us?" Sam asked, and that was the real test. Could Colby make out facial features using this?

Colby looked between them, pressing his lips together thinking. "Yes?" He answered hesitantly. "I think? Like..." He stared at Brennen, then at Sam, then nodded again. "Yeah. The uh... light blob is a different shape."

"Do the light blobs look like how you remembered us?" Brennen asked, and maybe that was too personal, but it was already out. All he could do was he watch Colby receive the question and process it, process its weight and its meaning. 

"Uh... I'm not sure..." And he stepped closer to Brennen, and then to Sam, regarding them both at a closer angle. 

Sam chuckled awkwardly as Colby moved his face closer to Sam's. "Careful, your boyfriend might get jealous," He said teasingly. And they were out on camera by now (not having meant to be but rolling with it) so the comment wouldn't have to be edited.

"He knows his ass is mine later," Brennen shrugged it off, getting a wince from Sam and a laugh from everyone else. "Colby?" Brennen asked, still waiting on an answer to what Colby was perceiving.

And Colby stepped back, moving back to Brennen and putting his hands back on Brennen's face. And he spoke while tracing the angles of Brennen's face. "So my image of you guys... is pretty fuzzy, so all the lines are blurry and kinda like color blocks..." He traced the lines, clearly trying to dictate how his brain was receiving the image. "But I don't see color anymore so... this is all lines and... and shapes... and they're less blurry when I'm closer..." He smiled, and there was a glossiness in his eyes that was Colby's version of tearing up. "So putting them both together in my head... it actually helps." He let his hands drop. "I can... I can actually picture you better now, I think."

Brennen smiled, and fuck, _now_ he was tearing up. He told himself he wasn't going to cry god dammit. "I'm so glad..." And dammit the thickness had come out in his voice too.

Colby smiled then, soft and affectionate, and he stepped forward pull Brennen into a kiss against him. And Brennen swore that no matter how many times they did it, he would never get sick of kissing Colby.

God, he loved this man...

"Thank you for coming up with this," Colby said softly, when they broke the kiss.

"It was Molly's idea, kinda," Brennen tried to give credit where credit was due, but Colby shook his head, rolling his eyes.

"Well then, thank you for setting this up," Colby said.

"Well Sam helped too..."

"I did..."

"Fuck, just take the fucking thank you," Colby groaned, pressing a hand into his face.

"I can show you something about "taking it" later..."

"Fuck! No!" Sam walked away and the room erupted into laughter again.

And Brennen felt stupid, and he probably made Colby do a whole other load of laundry because there was silver paint and sequins all over Colby's bedsheets, but it was worth it to have Colby's eyes looking at him when they had sex that night. And it was worth it for the lazy shower they had afterwards, where Colby tried not to laugh at Brennen as he scrubbed the sparkly crap off of his face.

And it was worth it for when Brennen looked over at Colby, just before falling asleep, and there was still a smile on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mentioned video: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RkXesWfvfYM
> 
> Yeah, this came out all in one day, even if the idea has been brewing for a little bit. I've got some more ideas brewing and a whole separate short so... keep any eye out for that.
> 
> Anyway, let me know what you think, if there's anything else you'd like to see... and I'll see you all in the next one!


	7. The Séance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place while Sam and Colby and Corey and Sam are in Spain for their XPLR trip during chapter twelve.
> 
> This chapter also assumes that ghosts and spirits exist on the realer side of real or not real.
> 
> “OOO” signifies a POV change (as I think I’ve done in the past). I’ll be jumping between Colby and Sam in this one.

“Holy shit, the team outdid themselves this time,” Sam muttered as the caretakers, an older Spanish couple, unlocked the doors to the massive church.

”This place is huge!” Corey marveled, leading the way with Jake. Sam followed them, camera in one hand, Colby on his other arm, glancing around the massive room that greeted them. The wooden doors opened into a huge, gothic church hall, church pews lined up twenty rows deep in front of a massive alter, and a gorgeous stained glass window that filtered mid afternoon sun into the hall. The room was lit by electric candles, each mounted on a pillar that lined the edge of the pews and separated the seats from the hallway and art on the other side. The filtered sunlight and electric candles all gave a churchy, holy sort of vibe to the place. Their footsteps and voices echoed in the massive hall, the ceiling stretching easily forty or fifty feet up, decorated with elaborate stone architecture, paintings, and gold leaf. And the crazy part was, Sam knew that there was even more structure that they couldn’t see, from the main church. There was a whole underground catacomb section.

Sam still couldn’t believe they were getting to spend the night here.

Although given the history of the place his excitement was tinged with a little bit of caution. A lot of people died here, awful, painful deaths from plagues. Sam knew that if they were going to get in contact with some spirits, then this would be the place.

”What does it look like?” Colby asked Sam quietly, and Sam looked at his friend, who was looking around the room the same as the rest of the group.

The difference was, Sam knew he wasn’t seeing the same thing everyone else was. If he was seeing anything at all. He bit back the hurt at the thought.

Because this was the first XPLR trip Colby would be taking on since he had lost his sight. Wandering around little Spanish town they had found themselves in before the church exploration had been trying enough. Sam knew Colby struggled with too much social interaction on a good day when he could _see_. Wandering around a completely new city, while functionally blind, in a place he had always wanted to _see_...

It didn’t surprise any of them when he wanted to retire early. And even though Colby assured them that he wanted to just stay in and talk to Brennen on the phone... Sam still felt guilty for going out later that night.

Because Colby wasn’t suicidal anymore, Brennen and Sam were pretty sure about that, and he was definitely better... but he was still nowhere near okay yet.

He was still keeping an eye on the caretakers, who had eyed Colby with an unreadable look once they had been told that he was blind. God, he hoped they wouldn’t pull any sort of prejudice bullshit against him. He wasn’t sure Colby could handle that right now.

So Sam just pulled Colby closer to him, and started explaining the building around them.

OOO

“It’s a big fuckin’ church, dude,” Sam started describing the building, and Colby nodded. He knew that. He’d heard the way the sounds around him changed, felt the density of the air around him almost shift when they stepped inside. When he spoke, he could almost hear the long distance the sound had to bounce in front of him and above him before it came back. The light he was able to perceive had changed too, from the bright afternoon sun of the outside to a dimmer, inside illumination. There was a brighter patch in his vision, and he could see what looked like the outline of a window stretching high into the elevated ceiling of the building. It was probably one of those big stained glass windows. Lining the walls up to the window were little balls of light, probably some sort of lamp. He didn’t think his vision was good enough that he could have seen the lights if they were candles.

”Big fucking window up there?” He asked, pointing to the brightest splotch. “Lights lining the walls?”

“It’s a big stained glass window,” Sam informed him.

”What’s on it?”

“It’s big golden cross with a bunch of colors in the background,” And Colby grinned to himself at the mental image of gay pride rainbows behind the cross. He was sure that wasn’t what it looked like, but it amused him all the same. Sam continued. “And there are these electric lights are on pillars on either side of the pews. But there’s not a wall there, like there’s more hallway behind the pillars.”

”Okay,” Colby nodded. He could picture that. He heard the door to the church close behind them, heard footsteps that probably belonged to the caretakers move in behind them. Jake and Corey were already at the front of the church, as Colby could hear them bickering back and forth about the some sort of painting up there and he winced, because of course, he couldn’t see it. “What are they looking at up there?” He asked.

Sam chuckled, “So, I think it’s supposed to be some guy kneeling at Jesus’s feet or something, but it looks like, really sexual,” Sam said in a low voice, quiet enough that the older Spanish couple probably wouldn’t hear him. “Looks like the dude’s giving Jesus a blowjob or something.”

Colby snorted. “Nice.” 

He felt his cane contact something hard, and his questioning look to Sam supplied a, ”One of the pews. We’re walking down the middle.”

”Thanks,” Colby murmured, and quickly added that to his mental map of the place. He wasn’t looking forward to when the sun went down and he lost the orientation the big window gave him, because he could almost see some of the outlines of things as it were because of the light reflecting off the pews.

He kept track of Jake and Corey’s voices as they drew near, listening to the Spanish couple talking behind him, kind of mentally keeping tabs on everyone in the building. It was harder in large groups, but when he was able, he liked to keep track of where everyone was. It was getting easier though, as his ears and brain learned what to listen to. Brennen had told him it was kinda creepy, “and like some sixth sense shit”, which had made Colby grin. Because maybe his spatial awareness was better than it had been, but it was more that he’d just learned other ways to track people that didn’t involve his eyes. People made more noises just existing than they realized.

It got confusing when the buildings made noises though. The creak of a floorboard, the fabric of a curtain moving, the building shifting on its foundations. Because sometimes he mistook those as an audio cue for another person that wasn’t actually there. He knew the floors were stone here, but he kept swearing he could hear some sort of shuffling that he couldn’t attribute to one of the group.

But of course, it was probably nothing, just his jet lagged brain playing tricks on him in an old ass church.

OOO

”So what’s the story behind this place?” Sam asked, standing back with his camera at a wide angle to capture the his three friends sitting in the first row of the pew, and the Spanish couple, Antonio and Maria, standing in front to fill them in on the church’s dark history.

Maria spoke much better English than her husband, and so she was tasked with explaining the story to the group. “The church was built in about 1250,” Maria started, “And it was used by the Catholic Church for the first hundred years of its life. Then the Black Plague came to Spain.” She surveyed the church, “The Church changed to a hospital for the sick. Much of the patients did not get better because there was too many for all of the doctors to help, and they were too sick.” There was sadness on her face, like she could look out and see the beds upon bed of patients. Sam noted it for editing purposes later.

“Many sick,” Antonio nodded in agreement with his wife. “Many dead.”

”After the plague, the church was again a church, but it was abandoned 1600 to 1800,” Maria continued, “After this, it was a church again, but always the church people think it is haunted with ghosts. Now, it is open for ghost hunters like you.” She smiled at them.

”How long have you guys been taking care of this place?” Corey asked, looking a little bit more anxious as he cast a look around the church. Sam looked at Colby, noticing his friend had cocked his head to the side, as if listening for something. It was a little bit of body language he had evolved since he went blind.

Sam wondered what he was listening to.

Maria murmured something to her husband in Spanish, probably a translation of the question, and he shrugged, “For five years, I think?”

”Yes, five years,” Maria agreed with her husband.

”And have you guys ever seen any like, ghosts?” Sam asked from behind the camera, “Ever heard anything? Like, yourselves or from anyone else?”

”Many times,” Maria nodded, “Antonio and I, we hear things moving many nights, more in the catacombs. The other ghost hunters, they say they hear voices, feel people in the church with them. The spirits...” She shrugged, “They are not unfriendly, _pero_ , for those who are rude... they are rude also.”

Colby’s ears were still clearly on something else, and Sam turned to him, asking, “Colby, dude... you okay?”

Colby attention snapped back to Sam. He smiled, but it was a forced smile. “Yeah, dude, I’m good,” He promised.

Sam didn’t call his bullshit on camera.

”Are you ready to see the catacombs?” Maria asked, and they all nodded.

OOO

The air got heavier as they descended into the catacombs. It smelled like stone and wet and old. Colby could feel the oldness of the air settling into his skin almost like a fine layer of dirt. He was glad he could move closer to Sam without it being weird, feeling something in the air that was just... something else. A shiver traveled over his body that had nothing to do with the chill in the air.

He kept hearing shit. And it wasn’t constant, not all at once. It was a shuffle here, what sounded like an exhale there. And they were all sounds that he could tell himself were actually from the other humans with him, the other living humans with him but... fuck, maybe the acoustics were just off in the room. Because they stopped when they moved to the hallway down to the catacombs, and Colby shook himself, because it had to just be the church and the way the sound bounced.

There was no other explanation he would accept.

”Why did they have on-site catacombs?” Sam asked from next to him as they moved down the stairs. Colby had had to tuck his cane in close to his body to avoid tagging anyone else with it with how tight the little staircase was, just using the tip of it and his contact with Sam to anticipate the steps.

”Many of the sick did not have families to return to,” Maria explained, and her old voice sounded almost creepy in the cramped hallway space. “So they were buried here, in the church.”

”So like, are we talking like, adults, kids...” Even Jake seemed to be reacting to the atmosphere, his voice uncharacteristically somber.

”Orphans and the homeless, mostly,” Maria answered, and Colby could hear that she had stopped. He heard the jangling of keys, metal fitting into a metal lock. “Those with nowhere else to go.”

”Is that why so many people died?” Corey asked, “Because... they were alone?” _And no one wanted them_ , went unspoken.

He heard a hummed conformation from Maria. “They often called it, “El Castillo Del Muerto”,” Maria murmured, “The Castle of the Dead.” And Colby heard the key turn, and a door creak open on rusty hinges. He winced at the grinding of the door across the stone floor.

But past the door, he could have sworn he heard someone breathe, “Shh...”

”Did you guys hear that?” He demanded, stiffening and listening harder.

”Hear what?”

”Someone just went “shhh”,” Colby said, taking an aborted step towards the open door. “Please tell me you got that on camera.”

”I didn’t hear anything,” Corey said, but now he sounded worried, and Colby heard him shift on his feet.

But he didn’t hear anything else from behind the door. ”I could have sworn...” Colby murmured, feeling stupid but almost sure he had heard something...

Support came from an unexpected source. “You are looking for something you can see,” Maria said ominously. “He is not. So he can hear what is there.”

Colby could feel everyone’s gaze on him, and he stepped back just a little bit. Sam leaned into him just a little bit, and Colby appreciated the unspoken defense. “Well then, you use your super ears to hear anything, okay?”

Colby nodded. He just hoped he wasn’t going crazy.

OOO

The catacombs were creepy, even with the electric lightbulbs that lined the ceiling. If anything, the desaturated light lent a dead and skeletal feel to the stone walls that lined the catacombs. Plaques notated where the dead were buried in the walls, and though they were only allowed in a portion of the hallways, they were told that the hallways and graves stretched for miles. Sam shuddered, not liking the mental image of the dead surrounding them.

Sam kept passing looks at Colby, not sure if he was reassured or not that his friend hadn’t seemed to react to anything since they had stepped into the catacombs. Because he knew Colby was listening. The look of quiet concentration on his face told him that. But he hadn’t commented on anything else, so Sam assumed he hadn’t heard anything new.

What the hell had Maria meant with that ominous statement earlier?

_You are looking for something you can see. He is not. So he can hear what is there._

Because Sam and the rest of the group had definitely heard shit before, definitely heard voices and moving thing and… just supernatural shit. And he knew that Colby’s hearing was objectively better than all of their’s right now but still… they would hear the same shit right?

Right?

Maria was explaining how they found the tunnels. Sam had actually passed the camera off to Jake for filming so he could focus on Colby, so Sam leaned over and murmured to Colby, “So… have you been hearing more than you’ve mentioned?”

Colby pressed his lips together, nodding slightly. “I’ve been hearing like… stuff…” He replied quietly. “It’s nothing that would like, show up on camera, it’s just shit I notice because, you know, I can’t see,” And Sam considered it a victory that there was minimal bitterness in his voice. “Like, shit I don’t think I would have noticed if I don’t _really_ use my hearing to keep track of shit.”

But Sam was still curious. “Like… What are you hearing?”

Colby shrugged, “It’s nothing like, ground breaking,” He said uncertainly. “It’s just like… idle noise.”

“… what?”

“Uh, idle noise like-“

“Sam, Colby, you guys good?” Corey broke through their conversation, and Sam looked up and realized that everyone was looking at them.

“Yeah, yeah. We’re good,” Sam promised, getting a nod from Colby.

“Yeah, just chatting about stuff,” He reinforced.

Jake and Corey both looked doubtful, but Antonio and Mario seemed to buy it. “We go back up, yes?” Antonio asked, and Sam nodded. There was probably some stuff he missed, but he’d catch up on it later. He was more curious what Colby had been about to say. But then they were moving, and the camera was on them again, so they fell back into their YouTube personas, and Sam forgot to bring the conversation in the catacombs back up.

OOO

And then Antonio and Maria had left, and the four were settling in for the night. They’d decided to cut the camera there and just chill until a little later on in the night. That was when they would move back into Ghosthunting mode.

Just as he had anticipated, the sun had set and taken with it a lot of of the ambient light that had helped Colby stay oriented in the church earlier. Colby was just left with the dimmer lights along the columns that did very little to aid his already limited vision. It would be fine. He had his cane, he’d just have to focus on using it and the context clues he did have for orientation.

His Orientation and Mobility training would really come into play here if he didn’t just want to stick with Sam or one of the others all night.

It was fucking weird, being in one of these places and not being able to actually _see_ any of it. He felt fucking useless, because he had to mostly be lead around, and he wasn’t able to see anything to help the other guys set up. And sure, maybe he was still hearing noises, but who was to say that that wasn’t just some sort of hallucination brought on by blindness and the jet lag?

He’d actually drive himself insane if he tried to think about it too hard. Instead, he set to pacing the exterior of the room, trying to get a better mental gauge of where he was in space like he had in his apartment.

But then of course, he had seen his apartment before he went blind…

He heard footsteps approaching, and they were constant and solid in his ears so he knew he wasn’t hallucinating them. He also recognized Sam’s stride, knowing that Sam was coming after him. He had wondered when Sam was going to follow up about that conversation in the hallway.

But Sam didn’t bring it up, just falling into step next to him as he tapped his cane along the outside wall of the church and asking quietly, “How are you doing?”

Colby shrugged, because he knew what Sam was really asking. “I’m okay, I guess. Kinda sucks not being able to see this place.” His answer was honest, if a little more optimistic than he really felt.

He heard a soft hum from Sam, neither a sound of agreement or disagreement, just an acknowledgment that he had spoken. And Colby really did appreciate Sam and Brennen and everyone else he hung out with on a regular basis for trying hard to work more verbal cues into communication that might have been expressed with body language before. And he only had to remind them occasionally.

It meant more than they all knew.

“I miss Brennen,” He said quietly, and that was true at least. Brennen always had a way of cheering him up, no matter how fucked up his head was. Admittedly, Brennen was probably the only reason Colby was still alive today.

Because he’d been way too close to actually acting out some of the scenarios that had been running through his head.

He heard a quiet exhale from Sam. “I know…” Sam said quietly. “He’s been good for you.”

“He has,” Colby agreed, a little nervous now, because Brennen was always a little bit of a sore spot around Sam. Because Colby knew that Brennen had gone from being considered competition by Sam, to his closest ally in the effort to… to keep Colby alive.

But Colby knew it was still a bit of a sore spot that Sam couldn’t be the only one Colby needed. Which was stupid and unreasonable, but emotions usually were.

“I’ve told you I support you two dating, right?” Sam asked, and Colby supposed he knew that. Sam wouldn’t have supported how close Colby had gotten with Brennen over the past few months if he didn’t but…

“I’m not sure you’ve ever actually said it,” Colby said honestly.

“Huh,” Sam said, “I could have sworn…” He could imagine the shrug that Sam was probably doing, “I might have had that conversation with him…” Sam muttered to himself.

Colby snorted. “You talked to him about this?”

“He was the only one who would listen to me worry about you for hours and not get sick of it,” Sam chuckled, and Colby had to admit, that was probably true. 

“You could have talked to my parents?” Colby offered.

“You really think your parents want to hear about their son’s sex life? I don’t even want to hear about your sex life…”

“We’re not having sex,” Colby protested indignantly.

“Yet,” Sam shot back, “You can cut the goddamn tension in the air with a knife.”

“Shut the fuck up, Sam,” Colby grumbled, surprised to find an honest smile across his face. Sam just laughed. 

They continued walking in silence for a few moments, before Sam asked, “You know he loves you, right?”

Colby nodded, smiling softly to himself, because he did know that. “He kinda fucked up and told me a few weeks ago,” He said honestly, “Or at least, that he was falling in love with me.”

“Yeah,” Sam agreed. “It’s pretty obvious. I mean…” He paused, then continued, “I know you can’t see the way he looks at you dude, but… He’s fuckin’ head over heels.”

And even though the smile still remained, Colby felt sadness touch his features. “I wish I _could_ see it,” He said. Because he did, wished he could just see all the nonverbal communication that he knew happened without his awareness. All of the nonverbal cues of affection from Brennen he was sure he was missing. God, he wished he could just _see_ Brennen’s face one more time...

And then it was his turn to pause, as he whispered his greatest fear, “I just don’t want to be a burden on him. Cause like, I know he loves me now but like... this blind thing isn’t going to change, and I’m always going to be this burden that he has to worry about…” And he mostly kept it out of his voice, but he knew that Sam still heard the insecurity.

“He doesn’t see you that way,” Sam said firmly. “You think I’d let him date you if he did?” He threw an arm around Colby, surprising him. “You’re my Brother, dude. I’d punch his face in.” And Colby smiled internally to himself.

Because of course Sam would see it that way.

“You really don’t think he sees me as a burden?” Colby still had to ask. “Because this is still really new, and maybe it’s okay for now but then he’ll get sick of it...”

“Colby, stop.” Sam stopped their walking, stepping to stand in front of Colby. He gripped Colby’s shoulder’s tightly. “I’m sure,” He said quietly, and in his words was a promise that he’d make sure it would stay that way, that Colby not only wouldn’t be a burden to his potential boyfriend but also not to his best friend. “I fuckin’ promise that, Brother. You will _never_ be a burden.” And even though he couldn’t see Sam’s face he could picture his expression.

He’d known Sam for too long. He could picture the lines of confidence and promise on Sam’s face, the earnest look in his blue eyes, the shape of the reassuring smile he would be shooting Colby.

And Colby swallowed, thinking for the first time that he might actually believe Sam.

OOO

Sam was glad that they were on their own by the later hours of the night. He really hadn’t liked the way Maria and Antonio had continued to look after Colby, especially after his comment in the catacombs. It was like they were waiting for something. Sam was almost grateful that Colby hadn’t been able to see the way they kept looking at him. He was sure Colby would not have been comfortable with it.

Jake and Corey seemed to have noticed it too, as they shifted into protective mode without Sam having to say anything, not even really changing their behavior in any way Colby would notice. They would just stare back at the couple when they caught one of them staring at Colby until they looked away.

It just made Sam nervous, because now he knew that they weren’t staring at him because of an disability. After the comment in the catacombs... it felt more like they were waiting for something to happen.

And Sam wasn’t sure if that was worse.

Needless to say, when the couple had finally left for the night everyone was more than a little bit relieved.

“They were fuckin’ weird,” Jake commented once they were all gathered in a circle in their cots. “Like that wasn’t just me, right?”

Sam watched the chorus of hummed negatives and shaking heads.

”Who the fuck takes care of a haunted ass church for five years, even after they’ve seen shit?” Corey grumbled, “And fuck, don’t even get me started on the way they were acting around Colby.”

Sam winced. That had not been the way he had planned to broach the topic. But here they were anyway. Colby’s head lifted off his pillow, “looking” at the group. “What?”

”Dude, they were like, staring at you the whole time they were here,” Jake informed him.

”What the fuck for?” Colby snapped defensively, looking distinctly uncomfortable.

”I don’t know,” Sam said, trying to dictate his thoughts into words, “Because I thought it was because of the whole blind thing, but after you heard that thing in the catacombs...” He sighed, “I don’t think that was why there were staring at you.”

”That’s fuckin’ weird...” Colby muttered, laying his head back down.

”Speaking of which, what the hell was that?” Corey asked, sitting up and looking at Colby. “What the hell did you hear, dude?”

And then all eyes were on Colby. Colby didn’t try to look at them, just shrugging as he fidgeted with his rings. “I dunno...” He said quietly. “I just... I swear I heard a shushing noise. Like a voice, when she opened the door...” He sighed, “I dunno, guys, I might just finally be going crazy...”

”But you’ve been hearing shit all day,” Sam said, and he caught the looks of horrified alarm that Corey and Jake sent him.

”What the fuck?”

”You’ve been hearing shit?”

”Why the fuck didn’t you say anything?” Corey demanded.

Colby’s hands moved in agitation, “Because like... I dunno, they’re just like, idle noises. It’s not like voices or anything.”

”Idle noises?” Sam asked, because he had heard Colby use that term before but he still hadn’t explained what it meant.

Colby groaned, pushing his hands into his face. His voice came out a little bit muffled behind his hands. “Idle noises are...” He lowered his hands, “Okay, so people make a lot of fucking noise, right?”

”That’s what all the noise complaints kept saying,” Jake grumped and Sam and Corey laughed. Colby even chuckled a little bit before he continued.

”I mean yeah, but so like, people make a lot of fucking noise, when they’re just like, existing,” Colby continued, looking down at his hands in his lap. “Like Jake, you’re tapping at your phone, Corey just scratched something, and Sam’s moving his feet.” There was a moment of silence as the three other guys registered that they had just done (or been doing) what Colby had said.

”Holy shit, dude,” Jake muttered, setting down his phone as Corey giggled nervously.

”Bro, that’s fuckin’ creepy,” Corey informed him.

Colby chuckled, “Yeah, that’s what Brennen says,” He said with a smile, and Sam heard the affection in his voice. Sam felt a soft smile tug at his lips. Those two were fucking adorable about each other. “But yeah, so like...” His brow furrowed, and he still wasn’t looking at the group. “People just like, make noises, just by like, existing. And because I uh... because I can’t _see_ you to keep track of where you are in my mind, I listen for those other signs, the idle noises.”

”Is that like, a thing you learned from the Agency?” Sam asked, suddenly self conscious of how much he moved. He could see the other guys seeming a little unnerved as well, Jake glancing at his phone like he was thinking about picking it up but didn’t want to, Corey’s hands fidgeting together.

Colby nodded, “Kinda,” He shrugged, “They taught me what to listen for. Idle noises is kinda my phrase for it.”

”So you’ve been hearing those?” Jake asked, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees.

Colby nodded. “Yeah.”

”And it’s not like... just us?” Sam asked, hating to draw doubt to Colby, but having to ask.

Colby sighed. “So... I don’t think so? Obviously the sound could be bouncing weird in here because the ceiling is like, all the way up there...” He gestured up to the ceiling, “But like... I don’t think so. It sounds like they’re not coming from us.”

”But we’re the only ones in here,” Corey insisted, “Who the fuck else would they be coming from?”

And there was a moment of quiet because... well, who else _would_ they be coming from? Sam chewed on his lip. The only explanation, other than Colby being crazy... was just as hard to believe.

Corey was still casting his gaze around the group. “You don’t think that they’re like... from ghosts or some shit, do you?” Only silence greeted him. “You’re fucking kidding me, right? You don’t actually believe...”

Colby shrugged, “I mean, it’s that or I’m finally going crazy,” He said sardonically. But then he tilted his head again, his eyes unfocusing, and Sam realized he was listening to something.

”Did you hear something?” Sam asked quietly.

And then all eyes were on Colby again. Colby was silent for a few more seconds, but eventually, he nodded.

”Where?” Corey asked, his eyes moving all over the church.

Colby listened again, but shook his head, “It stopped,” He said, mild frustration in his voice, “But I think it came from over there,” He pointed to the alter’s right side of the church, somewhere halfway to the back.

”What was it?” Jake asked, also looking where Colby was pointing. Of course, there was nothing there. Nothing that Sam could see anyway. “I don’t see anything,” Jake confirmed.

Colby groaned and covered his face again. “I don’t fucking know,” Colby groaned. “It may just be that it’s a fucking old building, and it makes noises that are confusing my ears. That’s fucking possible. Or I’m just imagining it and I’m fucking crazy, but I don’t...”

”I believe you’re hearing something,” Sam said firmly, believing that the sounds were real, at least, to Colby. “Do I believe they’re from ghosts...?” He shrugged, pressing his lips together.

Colby was staring up at the ceiling. “I don’t know if I believe they’re ghosts either. I’ve just...” And he was fidgeting with his hands again. “I’ve just learned to trust my ears when they hear something. Kinda have to when my eyes don’t work...” And Sam wasn’t sure if the dig was intentional, but Jake and Corey winced all the same.

”Okay...” Jake said quietly. “So let’s like, let’s just say all the shit you’ve been hearing is ghosts, right?” Colby nodded, still not looking at Jake. “That doesn’t like... change what we’re doing, right?” Jake’s hands were pressed together, tucked under his chin. “We’re still gonna like, try to communicate with them, right?” He got two solid nods from Sam and Colby, one reluctant one from Corey. “Okay,” Jake said, nodding with them. “Then let’s start some fuckin’ ritual or some shit, a fuckin’ séance.” There was excitement in his eyes. “If anything, Colby being able to hear them might make this easier.”

And Sam looked to Colby, who was nodding in response. “It might,” He admitted grudgingly.

”Then let’s do it.” Sam clapped his hands together, loud in the quiet church, and everyone jumped. “Let’s get the candles set up and do this.” 

And when they all started moving, Colby tilted his head again. Sam’s heart started racing, but didn’t have to prompt Colby to narrate it this time. “Something moved,” He murmured, “I heard feet move.”

”Where?” Corey asked instantly.

And Colby pointed, as he spoke, “Sounded like about ten feet that way.” And he pointed just to their right.

”Oh fuck...”

”Shit...”

”Same one from earlier?” Sam asked, but Colby shrugged.

”No idea.”

”Then something’s here, and I bet it wants to talk,” Sam said evenly. “Let’s do this.”

OOO

Colby held his hands out, feeling Sam and Jake join hands with him. The candles sitting in front of them were just visible to Colby’s limited vision, and he could see the three small light sources in the triangle they were set in. The other lights had been dimmed, lower than Colby could perceive. He guessed that the others could still see them.

But that was just the reality of his vision these days. He just didn’t see much.

The noises were more frequent. He heard more shuffling, more breaths, more sounds of movement, getting closer and closer. He thought the others might be hearing some of them too now, because he had already heard a couple of questions of “Did you hear that?”

The answer was always yes. It was like everything in that church was gathering now that they were here, and they were going to try to communicate.

It felt fucking _heavy_ in that room.

Sam lead them off. “To any spirits that are here, with us, in this church,” He started, and even Sam’s voice was shaky. This all felt very, very real. “We want to talk to you. We think we’ve been hearing you all night, Colby’s been hearing you all night, so... we’re listening.”

”If someone’s here,” Jake said, and Colby could tell he was looking around by the way his voice moved, “Please make yourself known.”

There was quiet for a few moments, as they all just listened. Colby didn’t even fake looking at his friends, directing all of his attention into his ears and what he could hear... sense... 

And then there was a knock just as Colby heard an exhale to their right.

”Oh fuck, I heard that,” Corey gasped.

”The knock or the breath?”

”There was a breath?”

”Shh.” Sam cut them off. “Was that someone? Can you do that again?”

There were another few pulses of silence, and Colby felt the doubt that was starting to rise up around him. Maybe... maybe it was nothing. Colby was starting to seriously doubt his own sanity when suddenly, there was another knock, and Colby swore he felt someone breathe into his ear.

”Fuck!” He yelped, almost breaking Sam and Jake’s hold on his hands.

”Colby, what...”

”Someone just breathed in my fucking ear,” He gasped, trying to look for the culprit, knowing it didn’t make a difference. He was blind. But the fact that no one else had reacted told him that clearly none of the others had seen anything.

”What the fuck...” Corey groaned, “Guys, I don’t like this...”

Colby heard the shuffling again, and he could swear it was right behind him. “Do you guys hear that?” He asked quietly. “The footsteps?”

”I did,” Came Sam’s quiet voice. “Holy shit.”

”Me too,” Jake confirmed, and his hand in Colby’s was clammy.

”Guys, what the fuck is going on?” Corey demanded.

”Something is here,” Colby said, and he got a knock after he spoke. And he could swear he could sense someone standing behind him, someone that he knew wasn’t there. Not really. Because he knew even if his eyes still worked, he would still turn around to see nothing. “And I think they’re standing behind me.”

The was a pause. And then another, solid, knock.

”Okay, what the fuck?” Colby heard Corey stand up, heard his footsteps rapidly start walking towards the front of the church.

”Corey, hey, dude, stop it!” Sam called after him, and Colby felt Sam start to stand, heard him grab the camera as he pulled Colby with him, Colby unwilling to relinquish his grip on Sam’s hand for fear they would take off without him.

“Corey!” Jake called, and then they were all moving towards the front, But before they got too far, Colby swore he heard movements shift away from him, like the person was walking away. And he should be more worried that they had just apparently reached some sort of spirit that none of the others could see but Colby could _sense_...

But then, wasn’t that just his life? Colby couldn’t _see_ anyone else in his life to know they were real.

Why should this spirit or... whatever the fuck it was... be any different, really?

Other than the whole dead thing. They’d gotten past the whole ghosts and spirits are real thing a long time ago.

But Sam was pulling him with him, and despite being sure that the spirit just wanted to talk, Colby had no interest in being left alone and blind with it, so he just followed along with Sam, chasing after Corey. “Corey, hey!” He called.

And then they were outside. Colby felt the shift in the air, could hear the sounds open up around him, the smell of the outside meeting his nose. The texture and feeling of the air changed too, much of the heaviness of the church leaving it. Fuck... he hadn’t realized how heavy the air in the room had been until he was outside. Out of habit, he listened carefully to the air around him for a few moments, just trying to reorient outside, and establish that nothing had followed them outside.

He heard nothing but the rustle of plants in a light breeze and the panicked movements of his friends.

”What the fuck, what the fuck...” Colby could hear Corey pacing. “Dude, what the fuck?” And then his voice was directed at Colby, “Dude, you’re sure you’re not just hearing shit?”

And Colby knew Corey was scared, knew he was just emotional, but so was Colby, and so he snapped back, “You fuckin’ heard the knocks, dude. And you would have heard the other shit too if you were _b_ _lind_!”

And Colby realized the harshness of his tone was not needed, but he was still gratified when he could hear the apology in Corey’s voice when next he spoke. ”I just...” Corey was still pacing, “Fuck, man, this isn’t real.”

”Colby’s not crazy,” Sam said curtly, “You heard those knocks too, right?”

”I did,” Jakes’s voice was haunted, and Colby heard him shifting just a few feet from him and Sam. “Fuck, that was... that was real... wasn’t it?”

”Yeah...” Colby said, nodding, still able to faintly remember the sensation of the breath in his ear, the feeling that there was _someone_ behind him. “That was fucking... fuck...” He ran his free hand through his hair. “I heard it and I still can’t believe it.”

”This isn’t fucking real, man, this isn’t fucking real...”

”I think this actually is,” Jake said. And there was a moment of terrified silence between the four as they all silently agreed with him. “So like...” Jake started again, “Are we just going to hide out here? Like what’s the plan?”

”We should go back in,” Colby said, and he was shocked that he was the one to speak first, but he was, and he knew that he stood by his words. “We have contact with this thing or person. We can’t just leave.”

”I am not fucking going back in there,” Corey said firmly. “If there’s someone there, and you fucking _felt_ it, Colby... doesn’t that mean its stronger than like, other spirits? That you could _feel_ it?”

Colby shrugged. “Maybe?” He asked, “Or maybe like... maybe those signs were always there. We just ignored them because we couldn’t _see_ anything. Like even now, you guys are only getting about half of the stuff that’s going on, I’m...” He looked at the ground. “I’m getting everything. Because really... those are all the same cues I’m using to keep track of you guys because I can’t see you.” He shrugged again. “I can’t see you guys to know you’re real either.”

”That’s... shit...” Jake muttered, and Colby heard the realization in his voice. “You got a point.”

”I’m with Colby,” Sam said, as expected. “I think we should go back. We fucking _had_ something that wanted to talk to us.”

”Or talk to me...” Colby said quietly, and he _felt_ everyone’s stares on him. “Maybe... maybe that’s why Maria kept looking at me,” He said, realizing it to himself even as he said it out loud. “Maybe she knew that I’d be able to sense stuff that you guys couldn’t.”

“Huh,” Sam muttered. “Maybe you’re right.”

”That’s fuckin’ creepy,” Jake muttered, but he didn’t sound like he disagreed.

”I think we should try to talk to them,” Colby said, listening to try to hear anything that might be going on inside. There was nothing, but Colby knew it would be different as soon as they stepped inside.

”I agree,” Jake said, and Sam didn’t hesitate to voice his own agreement.

They were just waiting on Corey.

After a long, terse pause, Corey let out a loud groan. “Fine,” He grumbled, and Colby heard him kick the ground, “But if we die, I’m gonna fuckin’ haunt you guys forever.”

OOO

And then they were back in the church, sitting back in a circle as everyone tried to slow their racing hearts. Sam looked around the group, noting the anxiety that perfused them all. Colby was listening again, his eyes closed, head cocked to the side. “I can hear things again,” He warned everyone.

”Things?” Jake asked. “As in, more than one thing?”

Colby just nodded.

”Fuck...” Jake groaned, looking round nervously.

Sam looked at Corey, expecting him to try to bail again but Corey only took a deep breath, seeming to root himself down in the exhale. “Okay...” He said, “Okay, we’re doing this. It’s fucking stupid but we’re doing this.”

Sam nodded. “Okay everyone,” He said. “Focus like we did before.” And he took Colby’s hand, closing his eyes, and focusing.

OOO

Almost immediately the noises picked up again. Colby heard footsteps, almost distinctive footsteps this time, not just meaningless shuffling. There was more than one set. More than one set of footsteps in a place where they should be the only people. “You guys can hear that right?” He asked, hearing quiet noises of agreement from the group.

”This is fucking crazy...” Sam muttered, awe in his voice.

”Okay, you were knocking for us before,” Colby spoke louder, to the spirits around them, and he almost felt them pause, could almost feel the quickly inhaled breath on his neck. “Knock again and let us know you still want to talk.”

And from the back of the church they heard a definitive knock.

OOO

”Okay... holy shit, they’re still here,” Colby breathed, and his eyes were still closed, but Sam had opened his, trying to look around the room. Because he could almost feel the same thing that Colby was talking about, that there was something in the air. And Sam thought he might hear the footsteps too. But there was still no one there.

At least... no one he could _see_...

”Stop trying to look,” Colby said, and his voice was low, almost hypnotic, “You won’t see anything. There’s nothing to see. But for your other senses... there’s so much...”

And Sam hated to close his eyes, worried that he would miss something visual going on but... fuck, maybe Colby was right. So he took a deep breath, closed his eyes... and listened...

OOO

“Okay, one knock for yes, two knocks for no,” Colby offered, figuring that would make the most sense. “Does that work?”

A pause.

A knock.

”Fuck...” Colby breathed, hearing similar sentiments echoed from about the room. “Okay, okay...”

”What else should we ask?” Sam whispered.

”Are you a demon?” Corey asked, almost immediately. Colby heard what almost sounded like an offended huff, but there was no knock. No answer the others could hear.

”Why didn’t it respond?” Jake asked, unease in his voice.

”I don’t know...” Sam said.

But Colby had a theory, and he didn’t explain it to the others before he repeated Corey’s question, although a slightly different version, “Are you one of the people who died here?”

And there was a definite knock, and another shuffle.

”Did it not like the question?” Corey asked.

But Colby shook his head. “I think it just wants to talk to me.”

And there was a loud, resounding knock.

OOO

”Oh fuck,” Colby muttered, opening his eyes to look at the candles. Sam wondered what he was seeing. “I didn’t think that would actually work.”

“So it just wants to talk to you,” Jake said, “Is that because you can hear it?”

Another knock.

”Oh fuck...” Corey breathed, “Guys, I can’t do this, I fucking can’t...”

”You can do this Corey,” Sam coached their friend, watching Colby’s eyes close again. “Come on dude, we’ve got something, we’ve got it.”

”This is fucking crazy...” Corey muttered, but he didn’t try to get up again. And Colby kept asking questions.

OOO

He could sense the spirit almost pacing back and forth behind him, but it wasn’t an impatient sort of gait. More an excited one. That there was someone there who could actually sense it. Colby almost grinned at the energy he felt. “You don’t want to hurt us. You just want to talk, right?” He asked.

A pause, and a single knock.

”This is fucking crazy...”

”Did you die during the plague?”

 _Knock_.

“Ask it how old it is.”

”That’s not a yes/no question.”

”Then ask it if it’s a kid.”

”Can you even do that?”

”I mean, if it doesn’t want to answer it doesn’t have to right?” Colby asked.

_Knock._

“Fucker’s got a sense of humor,” Corey muttered and Sam snorted.

Colby’s ears were tracking the spirit, listening as it almost seemed to move in circles around the group. God, this was insane. Absolutely insane. “Can you guys hear it? Like if you close your eyes and listen?”

He heard an indecisive hum from Sam. “Maybe?” He said, “Like, I’m hearing shit, but like, it’s not distinctively a ghost...”

”Just noises like someone moving around?” Colby asked, cocking an eyebrow in Sam’s direction.

And a pause, and then... “Yeah...” Sam said quietly.

”That’s what I hear too,” Colby explained quietly. “Those noises are how I keep track of you guys. But right now...” He listened, and he thought he could separate out two separate pacing patterns. “I think there are two other spirits with us.”

”This is _fucking_ insane,” Corey said, “Completely, fucking insane...”

”I can’t believe this is real...” Jake muttered.

”Me neither...”

OOO

And when he focused, Sam thought he could really hear the sounds that Colby was talking about. Because it made a crazy amount of sense, that Colby would be able to sense them, if he was using the same skills he used to register _living_ people why should the dead be any different?

He heard a gasp from Colby, “Fuck!” And he opened his eyes to see his friend had shied towards Sam.

”What happened?” Jake asked, and now they were all looking at Colby again.

Colby was listening intently, but now there was worry on his face. “There’s someone else...” He said quietly, “Someone else just walked up.”

”And...”

”And they sound angry...”

OOO

”Angry?” Sam asked him, “What do you mean?”

Colby listened intently to where the new noises had come from, the noises sounding almost aggressive... angry... The movements were just... heavier... “They just walked up from the catacombs...” He muttered, “And they uh... they sound like, more aggressive. Like someone who might want to hurt us...”

And there was a resounding knock from where Colby was pretty sure that original spirit was standing.

OOO

“What the fuck...” Jake muttered.

Sam cast his eyes around the church, knowing he would see nothing, but unable to stop himself from looking anyway. “Ask if this spirit wants to hurt us.”

And despite the fact that Colby hadn’t asked the question, there was still a knock anyway.

”Fuck this...” Corey said, “Okay, I’m out.”

And Sam couldn’t help but agree with him. “Thank you for talking with us,” Colby said, looking towards where Sam assumed he had perceived the first spirit, “But uh... we’re gonna step outside for a bit, okay?”

And then even Sam heard the angry rustling from behind them, the noise sounds aggressive even to his unpracticed ears. “Okay, time to go,” Sam said quickly, pulling Colby to his feet with him.

OOO

And Colby heard more angry noises behind him, almost like the spirit was trying to follow them out, the movements and sounds not even subtle anymore, and Colby knew the others could hear it by the way they were reacting.

”Fuck this shit,” Corey yelled, and Colby wholeheartedly agreed.

And then they were outside, the air opening up again, and as hard as Colby listened, he couldn’t hear any more of the angry noises that they had heard previously. But still, they were very much done with that. And it was once they were all gathered outside the church, trying to slow their racing hearts, that Jake asked, ”Spending the night in the car?”

The terrified agreements were unanimous.

OOO

Antonio and Maria seemed to know that something had happened when they came to relieve the boys in the morning. They didn’t press though, and the guys didn’t offer any information.

They’d left the car at first light, and once Colby had assured them that there were no noises in the church, they’d reluctantly passed out on the cots in there. Sam watched Colby for a little bit, not sure Colby was entirely telling the truth, because he was sure that Colby was still listening as he laid in the cot.

But if he heard anything, he didn’t say anything.

It wasn’t until they were in the car, headed back to the airport that any of them said anything about the night.

”So that was... that was fucking insane,” Corey started them off.

Quiet nods were all that he got for response.

And it was Colby who said it, surprising Sam. “So... that whole blind medium thing... Guess that’s gonna be a thing?” He asked. And Sam was a little worried, until he looked over and saw the wry grin on Colby’s face.

”Yeah...” Sam said, nodding, “If you’re gonna be okay with that?”

And there was some well warranted caution, but Colby nodded after a pause. “Yeah. Yeah, I think so.” And there was a real smile on his face.

And Sam grinned, actually grinned.

Because there was his best friend.

”That was really fucking cool,” Jake said, and he was driving, so he glanced back into the rear view mirror. “Like, I mean... obviously it sucks massive balls that you went blind but like... you know?”

”Yeah...” Colby said, looking out the window. “I uh... I get what you mean.” He shrugged, “This is one positive, I guess.”

”It’s really almost like a superpower,” Sam agreed, and he really, really hoped Colby didn’t take it the wrong way. Because obviously Sam was have preferred that Colby never went blind, that he could see just as well as he had before the accident, but they were always trying to find the positives in things.

This was one of them.

”John’s gonna fuckin’ run with it,” Colby said, and he leaned back in his seat, arms crossed against his chest. “He’s been wanting to since fuckin’ day one. He was only holding off because I wasn’t comfortable with it yet.”

”No kidding,” Sam said, “Once he hears about all of this? Dude, I can’t wait to review the footage.” And he really, really couldn’t. He knew what they had experienced, but he wondered how well it all translated over the camera, if any of the sounds would carry because there had been so fucking many...

And Colby grimaced a little bit, and Sam remembered that Colby wouldn’t actually be able to see anything they had captured. Just hear it. “I’m sure it’ll be intense...” Colby said, and luckily when he spoke he didn’t sound too bitter.

Sam nodded, because that was another obstacle they’d have to tackle. Maybe he’d have Brennen come over for the first review, someone to help Colby through the emotional mess he was sure that was going to be. ”You gonna ask Brennen out when we get back?” He asked instead, Brennen on his mind now.

And then eyes were on Colby again.

Colby looked suddenly nervous, fidgeting with his rings. “You think I should?”

”If you two don’t bang soon I’m going to lose my goddamn mind,” Jake replied instantly and loudly.

And there was a shocked silence for half a second, and then everyone was laughing, and that was the XPLR trips that Sam knew and loved; everyone just existing and laughing together. “Seriously, dude, if I have to see one more longing look,” Corey groaned.

And Colby was grinning, seeming pleased that everyone was supporting him in this decision. Like they would do anything else. “Okay, okay,” He said, throwing up his hands, “I’ll come up with something.”

And Sam was thinking, because he seemed to remember a certain spot that might work well... if they could get there... “Colby, you remember that one spot with the yellow flowers...?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’d been wanting to write this chapter for a while now, but I couldn’t decide who’s POV to do it in, Sam or Colby’s. Then I realized it would probably be most effective if I did it in both. So I hope the POV switching wasn’t too confusing, especially at the end there.
> 
> Okay, holy crap, I wrote this over three days. Probably processing something, and it’s probably Corona, but I’m not here to talk about that.
> 
> Alright, well, as always, hope you guys enjoyed, let me know what you think, and I’ll see you in the next one!


End file.
